The Writers’ Block 2-6: Cake


AURORA: Hey, hey!
Sorry I’m… …late. You’re both late. DAVID: Hey, you know how
at the end of episode nine we’ve got Sarah and Caleb
surrounded by mummies trapped in the department store? I’m wondering about a
slightly different resolve that would push us
more firmly into ten, which would involve Hazel? And, uh… Hello? AURORA: Aren’t you
forgetting something? DAVID: Uh… How are you? AURORA: Actually,
I’m feeling a little bit older. DAVID: Oh, did you hurt
your back or something? MATT: Happy birthday!
AURORA: Yes! DAVE: Yay, happy birthday! AURORA: Yeah, I thought
you guys might forget! DAVID: Nope, not a chance.
Surprise! AURORA: You forgot, didn’t you?
DAVID: Yup, yeah, I did. AURORA: Thank you
for the cake, Mattie. MATT: Welcome.
AURORA: Mm. DAVID: Gold star for
the sorcerer’s apprentice. MATT: Ugh, would you
stop calling me that? So, do you have any
special plans for tonight? AURORA: Well, Chris is
taking Trace and my Mom out to the movies, so I have
five hours of alone time. Uh, bubble bath, pyjamas, Indian food delivered
right to my door. Video games. If I’m feeling really indulgent,
I might start a book. Or finish one. DAVID: Do you think you’ll
ever get plastic surgery? AURORA: No, I actually
had never considered it. You? DAVID: I might maybe
get my mole removed, but that’s not plastic surgery. Well… would you
get plastic surgery? MATT: No.
DAVID: Really? If I were you, I’d get my ears
re-sized, my neck lengthened, and the chin angled.
MATT: Oh, yeah? If I were you I’d get my… attitude… adjusted. DAVID: [chuckles]
That’s the best you can do? MATT: Having an off day. [knock on door] CHARLIE: Hi, hi, hi! Happy birthday!
AURORA: Oh, thank you, Charlie! CHARLIE: Did you get
any nice presents? AURORA: Uh, so far,
just the cake. CHARLIE: Well, I’m sure
there will be more. AURORA: Yes, well, not from him. Davy forgot my birthday. MATT: Davy, did you
forget her birthday? Oh, Davy!
CHARLIE: Wow. MATT: That makes
Jesus sad, Davy. AURORA: Jesus is very sad. CHARLIE: Well, I would totally
sing you “Happy Birthday,” except I can’t really sing, so
I’m just gonna have to be like, “Oh, happy birthday!”
[giggles] AURORA: Um, was there anything
else you needed, Charlie? CHARLIE: Um, yeah. Mr. Dorian wants me to take
the minutes of the meeting. AURORA: [sighs]
MATT: Meeting? AURORA: Yes, we’re
having a meeting. DAVID: A birthday meeting? AURORA: No, a work meeting. What would be
a birthday meeting? DAVID: I don’t know. AURORA: Um… We– we probably won’t get
started for a few minutes. CHARLIE: Oh, yeah,
that’s totally okay. I can totally wait. MATT: There’s nothing
in here about a meeting. AURORA: Um, yeah.
That’s… You know what, actually,
we’re gonna have, um… Why don’t you step out for
a few minutes, just take five. We’re gonna have a little
pre-meeting meeting. Just… CHARLIE: Oh.
AURORA: Yeah, just… CHARLIE: Okay, sure. AURORA: Okay. CHARLIE: But don’t start
the meeting-meeting without me. AURORA: Won’t. I have horrible news. DAVID: Should we get our
therapist on speed dial? AURORA: Dorian had an epiphany while he was floating
in an isolation tank last night. MATT: Mm-hm. AURORA: He wants the
season finale to be… …a musical. DAVID: That’s your news,
or that’s an example of how horrible your news is? Like, “My news is so horrible, “it’s Dorian wants
the season finale “to be a musical,” horrible. AURORA: Dorian wants the
season finale to be a musical. DAVID: Is that
some kind of metaphor? AURORA: He wants
a musical finale. MATT:What?AURORA: I got the email
first thing this morning. Happy birthday to me.
[sighs] DAVID: So, should I just give
my resignation letter to you? MATT: Yeah, just
hand it in with mine. DAVID: Yeah, it
just makes sense. Save on postage.
MATT: Sure. AURORA: Dorian wants to know
how we’re gonna handle this, thus the meeting. Musicals are more
your wheelhouse, so I was really hoping
that you had some ideas. DAVID: Yeah, I totally
have an idea. Let’s not do this.
AURORA: [sighs] MATT: It’s an old idea. AURORA: Well, I’m old
and I’m still… [sighs] Never mind,
I don’t really know where I was going
with that, um… MATT: It’s been done to death. It’s a hack move. DAVID: Who can we get to that’s
higher up the network chain than Dorian?
MATT: No one, no one. They’re all– all the fucking
executives, they’re just… hangin’ onto their jobs.
They’re afraid; they’re… …cowards! Don’t you see?
Dorian’s the exception. DAVID: Right, he’s like the
rampaging bull full of bad ideas in a china shop.
MATT: Exactly. AURORA: Okay, well,
our job is to talk him down and convince him
what a bad idea this is. DAVID: Or… we handle this
the old-fashioned way. MATT: We could just take to
the streets with pitchforks and torches? DAVID: We use magic. DAVID: Your wish, your day. Make this all go away. AURORA: Yes! CHARLIE: [knocks]
Hi, hi, hi. Okay, I’m back for
the meeting-meeting, Mr. Dorian wants to know how
the musical episode is coming. AURORA: Fuck! DAVID: Oh, I think you mean… [singing]
Fuuuuuuuuck
!
AURORA: Yes.
CHARLIE: Wow.

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