The Nine Weird Habits of Writers



hello everybody so if you're a writer then you already know that we're a strange breed of psycho we're just not normal people there is a reason that writers tend to stick together no one else understands us but seriously us writers do some pretty weird shit in our day-to-day lives that other people might find bizarre disturbing maybe even repulsive so I'm here to tell you the nine weird habits of writers why not ten cuz I'm a writer and I keep things interesting or maybe I couldn't think of a ten thing as a newbie writer you may not be able to relate to all of these things but I'm talking about writers who are in the thick of it people who are so far down the rabbit hole there's no turning back if you're not quite there yet this is where you're headed have fun number one or hygiene is mediocre at best every form of hygienic maintenance becomes optional showering unnecessary deodorant I'll get around to it until one day you realize wow I'm a fucking mess then you'll carve out an hour or two from your intense writing schedule to deep clean yourself and I mean deep clean get all up in there and then the cycle continues until you're a disgusting mess just a few days later and don't even get me started on wardrobe choices if you're a lady then you already know that bras are just not a thing that happens ever bras are medieval torture devices and we're not gonna wear them pants are also an optional item of clothing pajama pants sweat pants yoga pants those are pants I can get behind I may or may not be wearing sweats right now but somewhere down the line your work uniform is literally gonna be your roll out of bed attire fine by me number two you will develop an unhealthy relationship with coffee coffee is the beverage of the Gods more importantly it's the only thing that's gonna help you finish that fucking book you know I'm not even a huge fan of coffee but I still depend on it it's like that friend we all have where we sort of kind of don't even like him that much but we keep them around because they serve a singular purpose that we truly rely on that's coffee for me I love you coffee you're too good to me I don't deserve you number three starvation is a normal and unintentional part of our daily lives it just happens you'll be on a roll getting all your writing done and then all of a sudden you realize it's 6:00 p.m. and all you've eaten is nothing oh so that's why I feel fucking terrible I'm literally starving so then you binge on whatever's in the house no need to actually prepare a legitimate meal because if you don't eat in 30 seconds you'll probably die so anything that can be microwaved you're eating right out of bag that's your dinner gourmet and healthy that's how we do things suddenly you've gone from a writing machine to a human garbage disposal just consuming whatever sustenance you need so you can get back to writing number four somewhere along the writing process you'll eventually transition into the nocturnal lifestyle you won't even notice it until it's too late but at some point in time you'll realize hey I've gone to bed at 4 a.m. every single day this week and I wake up at noon you'll try to get back into a normal human sleeping pattern but it never fucking happens because you get all of your best writer mojo at night why this is who knows actually there's a bunch of scientific evidence that suggests that more intelligent and creative people go to bed later than less intelligent and creative people but back to the topic eventually you'll succumb to the bleak reality that your life is gonna mostly go down at night that means you're just cooking up dinner when everyone else is going to bed and by cooking up dinner I mean microwaving your cup of noodle because we're writers remember think of it this way we're sort of like vampires maybe someone will write a BDSM erotica based off of our lives probably not number 5 we become hyper emotional about fictional situations that we've created your mood is going to be completely dependent on your writing or your lack of writing because missing too many writing days in a row is gonna create some pent-up aggression in you you know how you meet someone really uptight and you think man and that dude really needs to get laid it's the same thing except we really need to write think of writing as the brain orgasm we desperately need to have and when you are writing your story's gonna have a direct effect on your mood maybe you just went on a mass killing spree and 20 of your characters are dead this will either send you into a spiraling depression or you'll be super amped up from all the fictional murdering because you're crazy regardless of what it is you're writing you will for sure at some point have a conversation like this Chum even Jason aren't speaking to one another Jason thinks he's dumping him Eve isn't even sure what she wants anymore are they gonna work it out my five pages yeah but they don't know that you know that but they're sad right now you know they're not real you just don't understand number six we feel genuinely upset when people ask to spend time with us especially if we had a day of writing planned and let's be real we always have a day of writing planned so your friends say hey Jenna I haven't seen you in like a year let's go out and do something and your immediate thought is what haha I know how fucking rude right it's so inconsiderate that your friends actually want to spend time with you talk about selfish once you realize that all of that is complete bullshit and you're crazy you'll try to find a way to fit them into your schedule but all your days seem so jam-packed with shit to do because you want to write everything all day can we just talk online instead number seven leaving the house is the greatest inconvenience ever you don't leave the house unless you absolutely have to like if the house is on fire then you'll leave maybe how severe is this fire we're talking about leaving the house is inconvenient on multiple levels one because you got to leave the house too because you got to get fucking ready in order to leave the house need I remind you our hygiene habits suck so now I have to shower and brush my hair and put on a bra don't even get me started about makeup what the fuck is this and then once you actually leave the it's like oh my hell when did the Sun get so bright holy crap why are there so many people alive an existing word of advice put on your introvert disguise by that I mean put some earbuds in your ears and sunglasses on your face sorry I can't talk to you I'm too busy pretending to listen to music it basically lets the world know that you're an anti-social asshole who doesn't want to communicate with anyone whatsoever in other words an accurate representation of a writer don't talk to me bitch number eight if we must leave the house then we bring our laptop everywhere think of it as a super expensive security blanket you'll bring it to a doctor's office to a restaurant to a family function and especially to a party because let's be real you didn't want to go to that party in the first place someone made you go am i right and you know that no one's gonna talk to you the entire time because you're weird and anti-social so you're gonna spend the entire party sitting in the corner and working on your laptop and some people may find it rude but you know what they're wrong it's not rude it's a brilliant fucking idea you did your obligatory monthly out of the house stint and you are super productive best party ever and number nine when you do socialize with people you're gonna realize that you have nothing to talk about nothing appropriate at least because your life revolves around your book and if you're like me the stuff you find interesting in terms of your books content is going to sound horrifying to other people let me give you an example so what did you do not much just performed a live dissection on Jason Valentine you get the idea so these are the nine weird habits that writers have if you can relate to any of these than congratulations you are my kind of crazy and if you can't relate to any of these then either one you're not a writer or two you're a lot more well-adjusted than I am and I hate you don't forget to subscribe to my channel I post new videos on Wednesdays except for today which is Thursday but normally I post on Wednesdays so if you come back you should come back on a Wednesday because that's when I post videos on ones and if you have any questions or if there's something you'd like me to talk about in my next video leave me a comment or tweet me at generosity bye where are you ha ha ha you know the nari oh you just don't understand sorry you don't understand your face doesn't understand ok but they're not real but they're not real ok

20 thoughts on “The Nine Weird Habits of Writers

  1. If I have no structure in my life, I will literally go to bed at 4:30 after a cup of coffee, and sleep til noon or 2 pm, then the cycle will repeat. The coffee is normally a failed attempt to stay awake and reset my sleep schedule.

  2. so being a writer is literally self-torturing yourself and sucking yourself into an unhealthy lifestyle of constant loneliness and physical/emotional starvation? Sign me up.

  3. Coffee is Glorious
    We usually have so many stories screaming in our heads that we lose track of the reality around us and we become lot in our minds

  4. Are you an writer? Why are you making videos and not writing? Sorry, the question was bugging me. I like your videos.

  5. Number 10:
    Having a whole list of names saved for your characters and getting angry at movies when they steal your precious babies names that you spent days looking for.

  6. I've been writing a book for about six months now and….. HOLY SHIT IM ALREADY TURNING INTO WHAT SHE EXPLAINED

  7. Listening to this while writing and…. yes. Everything.
    Also, all of these (at least the first ones) apply to university students x)

  8. "You're way more well adjusted than I am and I hate you" no you just have a way better work ethic than me.

    Am I the only one who wishes they could be the one who can write at a party? I'm like "hey just dropping in for one drink" and then next thing it's 2am

  9. All of these apply to artists aswell(I consider writers artists tho). We're basically anti- social and wanna spend as much time as possible on our work/art.

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