The Extraordinary Zone — With Best-Selling Author JM Buckler

Welcome friends again to our newest
segment The Extraordinary Zone Here we are to talk about all the people that
have blazed their trails and set trends and times where they faced resistance in
order to do amazing things So get comfortable and get ready to get
uncomfortable in the Extraordinary Zone So yes we have children but real-life
hashtag real life I am also a mom but also a podcaster as well as a coach and
all that good stuff and I love what — hashtag no filter —
so we appreciate you letting us be real with you today so today I am here with
the amazing J.M. Buckler she were those of you who don’t know her she is amazing
authoress extraordinaire I have had the pleasure of reading her books and
knowing her through some of that journey and we are going to just kind of take a
peek into her life really the whole mission here is for you
to kind of hear an example of someone who is walking their own path and that
it is rough with its resistance and with its changes and with its growth that
you’re not alone and that you can do it I believe we we have our purposes and
our callings happen for us and sometimes we kind of hesitate because we don’t
want any backlash or we don’t want to stand out or we’re afraid of what will
happen and I truly believe hearing from others who are doing the same thing or
further down their path are it can be very soothing it can be very comforting
and also just a reminder that we need community and we’re not supposed to be
doing it alone so without further ado we’re going to introduce our wonderful
guest today thanks so much for coming yes and just kind of start with asking
what brought you into writing? You know it’s it’s funny I get that question a
lot and I did not like English in school I
always loved reading but when it came to writing papers I
dreaded it I think it’s because I hadn’t found my passion and that wasn’t what
was driving me to write the papers for the grade and I wasn’t I never
considered myself a a good writer at the time the idea for the story came for me
one morning when I woke up it wasn’t a dream
it was just the idea was there but what’s interesting is I had just reached
a crossroad crossroads in my life I was constantly let’s see that was 2008
that’s when that morning happened and I had been my entire life I got my high
school diploma and then I started a community college and never I must have
withdrawn from I don’t even know how many classes I take a class it was it
was the excitement of starting something new and I loved preparing for it but I
could never execute I was always one I think I had 13 w-2s one year in my
life because I could I never I was bored I would I could land any job interview I
had I I knew the right thing to say what the right thing to wear to get the job
and I was excited about it but then after a week I was bored it wasn’t what
I wanted to do so I decided to go back to school full-time I had always wanted
to go University of Texas I transferred I was all excited and then I got there
and then it was that like a deflated balloon show flat mm-hmm and that was
the first time in my life took years of realizing happiness isn’t found outside
of ourselves and it was in that moment where I saw I
was sitting in school and the professor said can you raise your hand if you
remember 9/11 yeah I drove to school that right I was the only person in the
class mm-hmm I was like oh I’m so old here it’s how it felt at least some
reason that moment shifted something where I said this isn’t who I am
this degree won’t define who I am this isn’t what I want to be doing in my life
for so many years I was a people pleaser and shifting my life of what people
thought should be doing be in school so I’m gonna do it I should
have a job so I’m gonna get one so I got up and I walked out of class and I’m
done and it was the first time in my life that I came into a posture of
acceptance with it where I realized I’m okay with this and I’m not going to do
it because it’s what I should be doing her
because when people are telling me I should do schools not for me
and it’s not for everyone and I feel like in our society it’s such a
program that you have to have that degree yes it’s helpful getting a job
but I was raised with two parents that you know one got a GED and one you know
towed around in college for a while but didn’t graduate two entrepreneurs who did
great so I said you know what I’m okay with this and so it was funny it was
about a week later moving into that posture of saying this is who I am I’m
not a college degree I have no clue what I want to do in my life but I’m okay
with that and I just went into that gray area and I stopped searching and it was
literally days later I woke up with the idea for the story in my head so it’s
almost it was like a validation that when you clear out the clutter and just
allow yourself to open up to the possibilities a book what could be there
isn’t it manifest it looks like the story manifested so I stlll had a lot of
self-doubt though in my in my abilities and so I just sat on it for four years
drove back and forth to work listening to music is a huge part of my life the
story I knew at the beginning and the end
I knew I had to fill in the details so I just sat there driving listen to music
plotting and then it was my husband who said what do you have to lose you know
so it’s 2012 I made that first keystroke and it was rough it was it was slow I
didn’t I googled how to write a book I didn’t have a clue what I was doing I got pregnant life happened went through a challenging part of my
personal life so the writing just stopped we moved to a new
environment things started opening up again and I started writing but it was
still so painful it was a slow process and I was like
going on it’s the stories there but it’s not coming out so I had a very um
big spiritual shift in my life in a spiritual moment I saw suddenly a void
in the marketplace for especially in the younger generation of readers that
there’s so many stories that are exciting and especially fantasy based
that readers love but when you close the book what do you get out of it like I
said I didn’t enjoy English but I loved literature and I always read and these
books were such a great escape but so many of them when they were done
sometimes they’d have you know some themes of love and compassion but it was
always the villains the villain destroy the villain the books over hero wins and I said you know what there’s gotta be more there’s more to that I need
some depth to this so I realized that that was the void and I said you know
what I think I can do this with my stories create a story of excitement and
romance and drama and all the things that make a great fantasy story but I
can also give it really deep messages that can be moving and show the reader
life isn’t pretty and it’s not always sunshine and daisies but give them tools
of how to move through the challenging situations in their life versus avoiding
them and do it with compassion and love versus judgment and hate and so
when I made that I said that’s what I want to do and when I set that intention
the next morning is when I woke up and I finished the book in two weeks when I
finished my second book in 12 days in third book in three weeks so it was like
it was once again it was that validation from the universe or God or whatever you
want to call it that the work started flowing through me and I said okay this
is this is my path and that was the first time that worked and feel like
work I said you know 14 hours a day at a computer and yes it’s hard on her back
but I don’t you know I think of before I had an accounting job and the idea of
sitting for hours a day was grueling right and this is just it’s it I think
once you find that purpose and your calling in your passion as you know it’s
not work it’s just this Drive that comes from with
so that is amazing and I just this couple points you brought that just is
really neat and one of them was being bold to step out of your expectations
from other people too to say you know what I’m bored yes I’m in school yes I’m
doing everything right but I’m bored and a lot of people I mean I just I know so
many just hearing what I’m coaching I hear it and I just I love the the
similarities because it just shows that we are all connected we are all brothers
and sisters you really are which is why we could help each other when we’re all
different places but so many people who will say gosh I am bored I am not happy
and then most people will just say well maybe I just need to give it more time
exactly everybody wants me here I don’t feel it but maybe it’ll kick in we
always wait I’m waiting for it to kick in I’m waiting for it to kick in some
people will get to retirement age waiting for it to kick in oh and that’s
just it’s heartbreaking and I just love hearing stories of people who say you
know what what do I have to lose I am NOT happy and although I’m not me being
happy is gonna make other people unhappy I’m going to follow my happiness because
if I’m I if I’m not happy who can I serve absolutely I’m happy and I just
thought it’s so amazing so I just I hear this being brave and and saying you know
what am i even excited about what I’m doing and then doing something about it
not waiting 60 years no there’s no there’s no point it is no point I heard
there’s I don’t know who said this quote but it said you know don’t chase your
dreams let them chase you and that that really struck a chord with me cuz it
was like you know what if we sit here constantly waiting for something to
happen your life will pass before your eyes and you know true and it’s so
important living in the now it is it really is now is what we have I think
that that that is I think the illusion I feel like we are me a lot of shadows and
substance you know and figure out which is what because a lot of times shadows
can look like substance and and illusions can can seem like that it’s
it’s real and a lot of times it goes to you know what is what is that in the
community ways in our society what is in the air that’s tongue is what we should
do and a lot of its you’re supposed to go to school that’s what you’re supposed
to do in your coming a school and it kind of makes sense well just go back
into more school but now you’ve got more choices happen
so I think that’s when people decide like well what am I even doing this for and
a lot of times there isn’t that transitional period it’s almost like there’s a bit of
a shunning if you don’t go to school and then and I what I love is that those
families who would teach their children and say you know schools not for
everyone it’s not even for everyone now some
people will find that maybe later if they just don’t even go to four-year
just some extra instruction whether it’s find a community of writers or take a
gap year I mean other countries that’s this the norm you finish your you know
high school and you take a gap year and really figure out what you want to do I
feel like you know in the u.s. it’s such a shoved down your throat like you
finished school you have to hurry and run to college why it’s such and most
people their enjoyment at college is not the school part
so we’re wasting money to party to party for free yeah and then you
said you know just having the community support they although it was one you
know I think that’s all you really need ya know if you have a sea of people
saying you shouldn’t do it if you’re supposed to do it it only takes one it’s
validation is it’s a it’s a tricky thing and I feel like self doubt that’s been
my biggest inner demon with this industry it’s self doubt and it’s you
know and in this in this industry you have to have very thick skin because
you’re gonna have people you’re putting yourself out into the world to be judged
and criticized by everyone so I tell aspiring authors like that are writing
their first book and they’re not published it said you are in a very
sweet space right now because no one’s looking at you you know and you’ve got
all the excitement and as soon as you press that button on launch day that
says go live it’s you’re out into the world so you
have to be have enough confidence in your own work and in yourself to say you
know what I wrote a book and I put it out there and that’s more than a lot of
the critics done you know it’s easy for people to
sit behind their computer and tear apart someone that’s very true and
unfortunately it’s par for the course when you start doing your path it’s so
interesting I mean then I think the way I look at it is that there there is the
light there’s a darker as a positive there’s negative in this world we live
in a broken world and everybody kind of can see that just in what they see out
there and when you do something that is put in more light more positivity in the
world it’s gonna get attacked it is gonna get temp because it’s messing with
the negative balance and so the negative it’s gonna want to come in and and
destroy that light because it’s taking away miss negativity really there is a
finite amount that feel like it is it’s a finite amount you know of a positively
negative that’s here you know and so and so I’m thinking about its territory you
think about it was war you call it what you want but like if if that game has
certain territory let’s say you know young adult you know industry for
literature you know that there there isn’t a lot out there that’s putting
things back into so you read it and it’s a great story and I love that you know
in substance there’s the word yeah you know that it doesn’t really provide
substance doesn’t you read the book and then that was a great story but what am
i walking away from it with what did I have as I invested time and and
resources in so and I think that we were built to to have a return when you
invest you get some sort of return and a lot of it is you know we’ve gotten used
to just good storytelling you know and we’re not growing and we are supposed to
be constantly growing and maybe that is kind of a struggle with the people who
who are negative I’ve heard it put so great there’s like three layers you know
you’ve got the people at the bottom who were kind of unhappy you know and the
people in the middle they’re not sure what they want to do yet and the people
at the top that are just just climbing no matter how hard it is and the people
to bottom want to pull Oh excellent to pull everybody you know and those get
them to pull and so these you know you have to decide where am I going am I am
I gonna be down here or I’m gonna be up here and I think so I say it’s it’s it’s
you know you miss less and I I teach in my books is you know we always have you
have the power to see the situation differently
so you know and I feel like it’s easy to fall into the victim mentality and be
like oh woe is me they’re attacking me but at the same
time you’re giving them that power when you say that you know so you can stay in
your own power and not listen to the noise and we can you know I think people
get confused with forgiveness thinking forgiveness means you are agreeing with
the choice they made and that’s not what forgiveness that you know forgiveness is
giving your own power back to you you know and you’re not changed to those
people anymore that’s right and I feel like so when I you know the naysayers or
the people that bring negativity to my life used to I would get very defensive
and I would want to lash out even if it wasn’t a verbal attack but mentally I’m
you see I was like putting up a wall we’re now I try to step into once again
a posture of acceptance and say you know what I can forgive them for where they
are that’s not me agreeing with what they said or what they’ve done right but
that’s realizing that’s where they are in their life and that’s okay in that
you say I don’t have to I don’t have to hang out with them I don’t have to go to
that that’s right I don’t even have to respond because I feel like when you’re
responding you know it’s social media it’s so easy if someone makes a comment
you want to put a comment back or feel like you need to defend yourself and I’m
told I told my husband from day one I said I never did send my work because
there’s nothing to defend right the truth the truth is so I will never get
up there someone’s gonna start crucify me will you sit this or you said I have
nothing to defend so if that’s the way things work so exactly that’s fine but
so I think it is it’s just accepting and you know showing I think people also
think showing kindness can is a weakness and I think that’s a big error it is it
is and what an attack because actually I’ve seen – deflate yes the most angry
anger thing I mean it’s so neat to watch you know cuz it’s really difficult I
mean you know you’re say a person is inflated and rate just attack and then
if you attack back well you just really go swallowing it you are you are filing
it back and forth but when you take kindness and I love this it’s a way it’s
not necessarily I mean I can’t take a visit absorption but also it’s kind of
saying I’m gonna not give it back so there’s a lot of people and this is
unfortunate thing is it’s gotta go somewhere which is why I think
forgiveness and actually creeping because it does hurt I think our society
does not promote grieving they say toughen up it was raised tough enough
exactly and what that ends up turning to anger yeah and offensiveness you know
we’re not allowed exactly we’re not allowed to grieve because it does when
it’s all get taxed it hurts and that’s okay
right that’s them whatever hurt and broke because it hurt people hurt people
that’s nothing save it it’s it’s coming from our face of hurt so a group I love
what you’re saying and I’ve never read in your book and I love how your your
heroine she’s so great where you know she was you know working through through
a lot of that understanding compassion where’s that I have that instinctual
reaction yes enough wait a minute and and let me let me let me just look
at this and then you see maybe this person’s had a bad day or you don’t know
what’s going on in this person’s life but nobody acts angry for no reason and
do I take this in myself and then become angry yeah and the the truth of the
matter is is when you receive anger and if you don’t receive it in a way that’s
healthy it gets out somewhere so whether you’re not sloly it back to or is Rena
Harbor it and then it’s gonna come and take it out and you lose control over it
at that point I feel like and that’s what you know some of the critic I’ve
gotten from my protagonist is you know she’s only an 18 year old girl and
people like no 18 year old has the wisdom of her like she’s talking like a
35 year old and I think it’s funny because that’s exactly what I wanted to
do mm-hmm because people dumb down kids it’s so
much and I feel like that’s such a program it’s like why can’t an 18 you
know woman be strong and show compassion and kindness and actually take a minute
look at situations from a different perspective
why not so that’s a lie or – yeah so it’s like I’m giving I’m giving kids
whoever anyone the chance to see situations differently and to actually
close the book and think about hmm how would I handle that situation or
situation comes up and they’d not consciously thinking of my body but
they’re like oh you know what I could probably handle that a little let me
take a step back yeah that’s what it comes down to is take it a step back as
if we react like that instant reaction is just you’re not the right one when it
comes to what someone else doesn’t when it’s a reaction but if we take that step
acting on anger it is usually it’s gonna be the first feeling because what they
did was hurtful and it really and angers just I feel like that it has but
kind of a the diva over the show you know we’re really behind and the real
one is hurt yeah the person is hurt and when you’re so used to anger you forget
really anything lashing out it’s gonna help you feel better
and when it’s reality you’re just training yours it’s just making it worse
and I think that is the the trap just like with children yes and that’s
something that I really just I pray and I and I see and I just you know and I
love that I’m aware because it’s very easy to not be aware and that just what
happens it really does somebody intends to be that way but I’m so thankful for
the resources and the people that are being bold and stepping out and saying
that and what I love and I guess I just thought of a another way of looking at
that critique is that the good part about that critique coming out is that
when you respond to it wow you make your thing do I may be the one who’s doing it
might not receive it but the ones there audience which is always an audience it
is yeah yeah who’s looking at it and I feel like there’s definitely a higher
mm-hmm how it work that orchestrates all of that just so having me happening
through that post like that’s not an accident you know and and so I think
that it’s it’s amazing that the question gets raised out of a place of being you
know negative right but it allows you to come back and say well why not
absolutely what’s wrong with you know aspiring to raise our children to be
wise before they go out there by themselves I think so I think that’s
also a Grange for those of you listening I mean when you’re doing something
you’re getting recruit eat that’s a great way of looking at it how can I
take this that has been posed and answer it in a way to where maybe this person
isn’t they’re trying to get me out of sorts mm-hmm but maybe I cannot see that
person and say wherever who’s listening I can address this and possibly bring up
a really neat point it’s aligning myself I love that as amazing and you know
brings us to the other thing you were talking about was community right you
know just having a support even if it’s one but suppose that I mean as you’ve
been going you have been building yes a supportive community and I’m a firm
believer that mathematics does not work when it comes to support or serving you
no one can equal like 50 quality yes yes yes 50 negatives yes you know what I
mean at one just one wine I tell my readers not a lot I have I have such
fantastic support and readers and I’m so grateful for every day and I sometimes
they feel like they’re bothering me when they reach out to me and I’m like you
are never bothering me with kindness that’s right you know I will say that
all they want that’s an author when someone says thank
you for writing or you changed my life or please continue doing what you’re
doing that’s what keeps me going you know it’s not the negative reviews
of Oh watch this I’m gonna make this better no and that’s
coming from a different postures but you know when you come from a posture of
gratitude it’s it’s so much it’s pure and it’s natural true you know and since
I have known you especially as you’re watching a little bit if I have doing
the journey and I think I’ve always admired and I was thinking about the
other day is you’ve always been so gracious you
know when it comes to compliments or when it comes to people showing up for
people getting involved or connecting with you and that is amazing there’s an
amazing quality because I like that person who says what the people who’ve
what they’re bothering you I mean what role models are out there to where that
it feels that way and that I’m always like hmm I expect more from your role
models yeah I understand you know a lot of these huge celebrities they don’t
have time to reach out I’d have someone running their social media accounts and
that’s one thing you know what this grows and it’s growing fast is I just I
that’s the one thing I always I always anytime I get any positivity coming
towards me I always taken one ass in the back thank I give thanks for the
gratitude because I don’t I don’t want to lose that I die and encourage them
keep supporting people because I feel like it’s so important it is and it
seems like it really is feel like it’s a struggle every time I struggle between
putting the good stuff in and it such a cancel and now actually mourning
canceling out superseding and taking territory from the bad and when a person
reaches out I mean that’s a bold move that they’re making because they are
feeling like I’m bothering you so they’ve stepped past something that I
people wouldn’t you know to come in and and support you you know and to come and
tell them I support you supporting me because you have to step out in faith to
do this with all these things telling you that you shouldn’t and I want to
just encourage you because keep supporting people because Adi we need to
support each other that’s the one thing that we don’t do as a community and you
know it’s funny I I try to constantly break through some glass a lot of glass
ceilings that self-published authors have are the traditional publishers have
put over the self-published industry and you know speaking of trailblazing I like
to do that because I want to lift the level of the sea you know and I had I
was doing a few things and I had someone come at me and they were like you should
tell people your secrets you should keep this to yourself so you’re the first and
I was like that’s that’s helping me but not in the long run that’s right like
that’s not like a such a thing it’s not certain that’s not and it’s like if I
can help other people in the industry succeed it’s not you know I think it’s
normal for jealousies to come up you’ll see another author who maybe just got
started and they’re selling more books than you are and it’s just it’s a
struggle of life learn that your recently FOMO I just learned that doing
but you know it’s it’s funny I’m such a strong believer that will we put on to
the world you get back that’s so true you know that is like when you when you
help others succeed on their path share your tricks of the trade and you and you
just stay in that loving and not a I am a tough skin girl I’m not one to sit by
and let people walk all over me and people like I said they get confused
when you I mean coming from a loving posture that you’re just oh people can
walk no that’s actually coming from a power it is powerful pop it is one of my
favorite terms of human humility and that the definition is awesome
definition I heard was strength under control
yes I love that like is that it’s 90% of people don’t they don’t understand and
just for people listening like words that are also the same as humility
referring what are sending them so is what is it yes synonyms
so people hear humility and they think certain things and have connotation but
humility meek humble these are the words that compassionate these are words we’re
talking about that you’re exerting control you know this strength under
control it does not mean that you’re a weak and I grew up hearing that it’s a
program in our society that was something that kept me we’re talking
about boxes right and just for you listening or watching we talk about
boxes and we all have them is when we’re born into this world they’re born with
all of our gifts and and I’ll show it to use with him I call it kind of like
primordial ooze we could be good not sure but we’re gonna be yeah and the
things that happen our environment kind of shapes that you know and encourages
us or in each either way it says yes do this no do that there’s that positive
negative reinforcement that helped Ellison tells us what lines and where
the draw the lines with a drop and said this the box so the box gets drawn
around you based on what goes on and I know for me my box was don’t shine too
bright oh wait you’re getting a little bit too much and sambal yes and that’s
the confusion it is people think oh you’re not be you know you’re not being
humble because you’re shining that’s such a misconception you know or like
what we were talking about earlier about you know our country but the American
Dream mm-hmm you can do anything you want kids right just kidding when you
get to right right oh thanks we really didn’t mean that what 18 comes like no
get back to the box it’s such a misconception with others I’m like you
can be confident and not cocky there’s a different it is a difference it’s very
you know it comes down to is the place we were talking about worse what’s the
position where wherever you put the the the place of like serving and doing it
from a servant’s heart are you self serving which one is it and just back to
what you were saying and this is something that’s just kind of been on my
heart as well as the gatekeeping you know when you’re saying like people said
don’t tell everybody that is totally being a gatekeeper and I’m a front
believe with anything that we have doesn’t belong to us anyway
yeah you know it’s it’s totally a gift like like that’s the idea mm-hmm just
been struck with this idea I mean is that had come from somewhere
I think it’s I you know it’s funny it’s like yes I did the work I sat there and
typed on the you walked in obedience to that yes I feel like I always say I’m a
steward of the one that’s right and therefore it’s not personal
so I can’t take it personally but if I get an attack that’s a really great way
I’m looking at so I teach yourself out of it it’s not personal it’s not about
me I am I’m the messenger exactly I am just the messenger here and you know for
those people listening it for me like when we put ourselves out there through
work or through inaction or whatever teacher whatever it is that you’re doing
you are putting yourself out there and opening yourself up to attack from
negativity and just remembering it you you are brave that person you and
whoever else is your brain for stepping out and doing what you have been called
you because I everybody does have a whole lifetime there’s several quotes
that say this but the one is that that a lot of people will leave this earth with
their music still inside them unplayed I wrote something else and I was you know
I’m preparing for this and I was gonna do kind of a combination of you know
many people leave this earth with their story and written yeah
you know and how sad is that when you think about that because of the fear
because they fear controls everyone I have at least one person at every book
signing come up to me saying you know I want to write in they’re very timid and
though I see their body language and they’re looking down they won’t like me
they’re like you know I wanted to write a book but I just I could never do this
and I’m like that’s the self-doubt mm-hmm and you have got to brush that
off so fast anyone can write a book that’s right and
anybody does and the question is what are they putting out there and I have to
be honest like I I love I didn’t know if I would have come to this idea but I I
got this you know strike two maybe you should write a book you know
and and you’ll tell you the reason why it is same as the reason for you is
there’s a lot of content out there there’s so much content out there and
but it’s always all good content you know you want a fun fact for this that I
just the Library of Congress you know that’s where you register your book to
get your copyright if you read one book what did they say it would take you
60,000 years to read every book that’s right
and that’s just registered delivery of Commerce yes amazing it’s a lot of books
there is a lot and that doesn’t even include like what’s now on internet and
articles and blogs and podcast I mean there’s a lot of opinions out there and
there’s a lot of it for me your information heavy which is amazing but
can also kind of be a liability as well depending on how it’s being used and
then the mediums to get to people it’s great you can get stuff to people so
quickly which is great but like we said you can effect you can use it as an
attack everything has I have this inspiration that I got is I’ve been
coaching in and also their stuff was you know we’re all growing our gifts and our
gifts can you to be an asset or a liability you know a person it’s got a
great gift of charisma I mean we’ve seen what that looks like
yeah in the bad place but we also see what it looks like when it’s great
people who are motivational speakers and people you know and it really is this a
gift they say when you’re talking to someone like that they feel within them
the ability to be able to do things and that’s outside of it the person is they
are just walking in obedience for their gift and trying to make sure that
they’re certain and it all comes down to serving someone who uses that gift and
we can look at the Holocaust all kinds of other things and cult leaders when
you’re taking that gift and you’re self serving that’s when I believe it start
to turn into liability and most people don’t set out that way but I think it is
that self serving and unfortunately like you were saying our society has kind of
created this this view so I just say okay you do what we think you should do
right and you listen to that and then then they say oh well this person’s
doing this and they that creates a sense of feeling jealous or feeling like
you’re missed fear of missing out which is pretty no jealousy or that you should
be having something or entitled to something that you don’t have so they
put you in the box they don’t come out and then now you feel or Loren or you
feel sad whenever someone is doing that Fame that you and then you now you’ve
built this wall around yourself of all the reasons why you you can’t or
couldn’t do that and even to the point where you resent people who are doing it
and it wouldn’t attack what a gap you know instead of saying hey let me know
or can I be encouraged by how you face these things because I think that the
illusion or the thing people don’t know and this is what this podcast is about
is that people who are who are walking this path struggle
absolutely every day I produce Ernie a clap love you but but you know and and
then it’s it’s it’s encouraged and I just I love when you were saying that
you don’t want to get keep you don’t want to keep what what you have for
yourself because now you can encourage other people to get out of their boxes
you know together boxes and we give the more you get it is another place where
mathematics doesn’t work like really that dick comes back and there’s this
wave like you just you know you come up and that lone person doing something
that’s very hard in servitude when you do it from my heart you wrote this book
this is from serving mm-hm you wanted to write because you wanted to serve a
young adult community with something or any community yeah wait so because
they’re people they said she sounds like she’s 35 well they’re 35 year olds that
don’t do that don’t do that they just don’t know to do it
you know and so I believe I taking that responsibility that social
responsibility that we’re all related we’re all brothers and sisters and some
of us might grow up they don’t have parents or don’t have a support system
and with that open Harlech I was one of those those ones that was just searching
like I just felt like I really needed more support an understanding of things
and so with that open heart I was always meet people you know who were willing to
just share their experiences and because I was open to it yeah you know cuz that
represent whenever Zemin gets in you read closed down yeah it’s amazing when
you open yourself up the opportunities that present themselves
it does and I told I’m a firm believer that God provides I mean if you don’t
have like I didn’t have a whole lot of support from my family everybody was
kind of dealing with their own stuff everybody how it hurts and everything
but I always had friends of in parents or friends we’ve always stepped in about
knowing anything that was going on and hey can I give you a ride to school you
know whenever I or you know you know I wanted to do something there was always
that person or that was there I was looking for it I was open to it
opening up the tiny you know miracles are funny people are like I don’t
believe in miracles are well miracles rarely
and I laugh because you know people think miracles like oh that’s a mother
lifting the car off of her child or something you know and I’m like no
miracles happen every day in your life you just don’t acknowledge that’s right
I found my keys this morning right I know I shouldn’t have
I know right I know exactly what a great acquaint is to me no I think it’s so
easy to overlook but you know you woke up this morning Thank You mr. Forsyte
yes breathing right now that you’re here that you are here at this place point in
time right now I mean that’s a miracle what all the things that had to line up
to get you here it’s easy you know we get busy weekend with work we get
focused and we get you get that tunnel vision it’s easy to just see the end
goal of where you want to go and you’re just like I’m gonna sprint there but
it’s so important to take those moments and look at everything around you and
look at the whole yeah and take a moment to appreciate yeah it’s hard I I’ve
struggled with the daily going like I got it gonna take some time right so you
know that just a reminder like I did I laid my meeting with God does it come
meet me and thanks I have my one mind on there okay
I’m here for our meeting but it’s it’s such a good reminder and I just I think
that X the human condition you know we do we need anchors you knowing things to
anchor us because we get out there it’s I was just talking about this yesterday
um like you haven’t a bet for me for some if I have an event and at first you
know you you get so wrapped up into it and then you start worrying you start
thinking anybody would come nobody’s even signed up and I and I asked for
prayer I reached out and I was like okay can you pray for this event I’m kind of
feeling a little bit word cuz nobody is really signed up and then um I remember
has just said it but essentially she was like take a moment I’m gonna release
that and and just kind of react like like what are you doing evaluate it’s
that kind of student said why am I doing this
like why haven’t I say that what’s the point of it I’m like well I want to just
serve and I want to show some love some light to people and I’m like you know if
I do that for just one person I think at least one person signed up then I’m good
I can love I guess that gives me more than I can get to that one person who
signed up so there’s more going on than I know
myself doubt and fear I feel like they go hand-in-hand they do that’s such a
you know anything that comes up in my in my field where I’m like fool it’s it’s
self-doubt so that’s exactly what it’s voice in your ear yes yes I the fear if
you’re not being good enough the fear of failure the excerpt I
brought today is a lesson on fear because it’s such a I think like we
talked about it our society is run on fear driven thoughts you know and it’s
so easy to get caught in that Oh No yeah and it’s just this you just spiral
out of control with it I actually wrote a thing and I’m and just six takes it’s
not – I love you say that it’s it’s not mine I’m just the bessel I am just the
messenger but something that popped into my head was like beer is a liar and a
prison warden it really is it keeps you in that place to where you don’t get out
because Frisco you sure you want to do and the doors wide open oh okay so those of you who are
listening when is your book come out passage of times the third book in the
series and that releases September okay so how many months is that what is it
seven eight so eight months and so if you guys listen to this podcast okay
before September the first time you are getting to hear an excerpt okay from the
book so before millions of people are reading it you like to read it first
here on opting out opt out yes to bring you a special treat no spoilers it works
perfect for what we’re what we’re talking about here so support Alaura the
fear you’re experiencing isn’t real it’s an illusion created in your mind and
will incapacitate your entire being if you allow it aside iboot sinking deeper
into the snow the lunan tightened his grip around my arms before continuing
the walls of fear are built by the unseen hands of doubt if you accept this
truth they will crumble before your eyes if you resist it prepare to stay trapped
in a fortress of terror I blinked hard absorbing his words it’s time to let go
of your fears like love true power comes from within it’s not found outside of
yourself you rested a hand over my are it’s found in here wow that is very
appropriate I know present that is so good
what I mean your writing is just coming along amazing but even the first one I
mean I love the messages in there and Bill it substantially yeah which is what
I wanted to do is subtle pick one I always say this subtle warm-up it is it
was hard put it down it really was like I don’t get time to read you know I’m
nerd and then I was really nursing nursing baby wet hand read no really I
was and I could not put it down so good yes is keeping out their hand and I’m
sure that that your book is filled with that and what I love and so for those of
you listening watching is reading like like filling your mind and yourself with
with content that is actually restoring teaching like like helping and put
positive things that’s powers and powers you you know so that you can step out
step out of your box up step out of your comfort zone and do that thing that’s
pulling we all have that thing eventually in our lives that start
pulling at us yes and it I was just talking about this yesterday I actually
the the creative field I feel like has the hardest time doing it authors
musicians painters though I mean they just I feel like artists have such a
harder time stepping out because society does not give that equality with other
other vocations and that’s unfortunate because we need we need Beauty we need
energy and maybe that’s why I was thinking about this why that maybe there
is but I look at what territory and things kind of just being under attack
you know and there’s a resource look at like what’s the reasoning behind it kind
of most thinkers like why is it there is such I mean you think about like just
even the old adage right the child comes and says I want to be a musician you
know and and yes we have children here hashtag real live opting out no really I’m a firmly decide now I’m a
firm believer I’m one of my my my missions one of my goals one of my
prayers I would love to be able to to do work to business and have my children
have our children our family around I want them around other ones yes while
they’re still especially while they’re still little and they’re still kind of
forming you know eventually they will start getting out there more and
everything but I just I also just you can do it too how many people some
people like we’re all wired differently and I think some you know they’re it
works for them you know and it works for their whole family unit and some people
I know people who sat me I wish I would have a pair children around wish I would
have had them home with me because but the fear of everybody saying your kids
are gonna be weird and that’s another yes another attack
yet people will say and so you have to wonder there must be something when
something is really messed with there must be something on to it so back to
what you’re saying when it comes to people who are money to be artists you
know you have to wonder gosh of all the things somebody attacks Shona be a
lawyer really you know doctor yeah you know
nobody tax those there like that’s great I fear my family’s gonna be so happy
that’s like a starving artist yes and we all grew up just thinking about your
time yes in a pipe dream exactly all that
that’s a nice hobby but what else are you gonna that is the one thing that I
as an author I think any author can relate to this that they get a good
chuckle about is when someone says how the hobby of yours coming along like
that you have to put it that with my head I’m like really my body that’s been
14 hours it’s going very well thank you yes do they answer you know and it’s so
interesting I feel like and the people I feel I can say stuff like I don’t
realize you know they don’t really yeah don’t really realize like what like they
I mean I think that speaks to what’s going on in their life but like what
they say it’s so funny how I’ve seen like I could be somewhere and be a
stranger and have somebody say the exact wrong thing and they don’t even know
what’s going on which makes my exact there’s somebody else watching here
exactly the exact wrong thing for me it was I’m at the store with my three
little ones at the time and they’re very close in age so it’s like the time 3 2
and 0 and someone sees me I say it’s still got your hands full
and me being especially at the time so that people pleaser and that agreeable
person like oh yeah you know although it struck you know like I don’t have that
many children I probably want all of them and so I remember telling someone
who had 9 and I mean I think 9 9 9 melenz and she said people would tell
her that and she said that I would say follows a handful of blessings and I’m
like I need to start speaking wife yeah you know when someone says something
whether or not they realize how it is being received if I’m just like oh okay
I feel like that’s been receiving that and it did it did some number on me over
time and I think just it seems it seems like it didn’t get through but it did
and so what I’m trying to be more aware of is speaking positivity over something
you know and so you responding back like actually it’s on top in a nice way
you know is a way of you not letting that absorb because once that gets in
that self-doubt some start kicking that oh you know like am I sure that I’m
doing this man I spent a whole lot of time on my hobby is a hobby I mean I
want to get into that but when you think about that I just wonder if that’s why
people make themselves feel better about doing what they’re passionate about you
know and feel like well I gotta do two things because I got to do what I’m
passionate about and I got to do what they think you know pays bills don’t get
me wrong it’s definitely a struggle and you know this is a striking a chord but
those of you watching or listening the podcast a video that we just said
yesterday was with a musician friend of mine and he was talking about like that
first year he was like yeah I was hungry but I was determined for him and it was
a sneek seeing through his perspective because a lot of us don’t have that like
but I think it’s still applicable I mean you look at it like he’s coming out as a
Marine in the civilian world and for and he was digging out of a hole because
he had so many people commit suicide because of not knowing what to do out
there yeah and so musician being a musician was his anchor and then I mean
he headed towards that thing like a freight train he’s like I their failures
not an option and I’m gonna do whatever I need to do
and that means I’m starving if that means I’m downsizing if that’s meaning
whatever then I’m gonna do that I can’t even talk about investing you
got yourself yeah I think I know what you were gonna do like he bought he went
about $2,000 to tie so I said no that’s brilliant
because that’s telling yourself that I’m doing this yes that’s not hobby and I
think a lot of people when he didn’t know how to play guitar doctor and
didn’t know how to play it and he taught himself I don’t know I was like that is
such a great example no and then I think so many people need to to hear more
stories like that to realize like you don’t have to be special to do that
everybody has that guess what you are special right like you just have that
like spent you know yes what the world has kind of yeah that’s right control to
make that Hobby right a job or reality and yeah I mean yes it costs money to
write books right it costs money to you know people like just cost any money to
be a writer know if you get your PIN and paper and just right that’s right but if
you want to be a self-published author yes it cost suggest what’s known as a
coffee bean in yourself this is going to go from point A time to in this and that
is really it’s the mentality and I think we’re we were talking about being cocky
I think that is where that that kind of illusion that that lie comes in that
thinks just because I am driven doesn’t mean I’m cocky just because I am full
force of good freight train I am you’re not gonna stop me I just gain in
momentum you know that doesn’t mean that I am I’ve heard I’m impractical or that
I’m not being realistic you know you’ll you will hear those
those are so you look at all the top entrepreneurs in the world everyone told
them they were crazy at once everyone told me
be done you know I tell people I hear no all day when I when someone tells me no
that can’t be done I say watch it exactly do yeah you might as well say
okay I’m giving you like like they give me more momentum right you tell me you
know that I’m gonna drive from that oh I’m angry so watch me do it it’s coming
it’s it’s a motivation of no that says this is my path and it’s going to I’m
driving even further just so to anybody who feels like it’s a no for them
realizes it’s actually not a no for that you know and I love that that whole
crazy I feel like and I’m learning that anytime somebody calls you crazy or it
says anything allowing that but usually means you’re on the right track I really
use anything that’s worth anything it’s going to everything to fall apart I’m
telling you it is and when it really the question we all should ask ourselves
when we’re ready to just go on into something we know we want to do need to
realize okay what do you want to sacrifice because that’s really and
there’s something wrong with that there’s nothing and when you believe in
something there’s nothing about downsizing there’s nothing wrong with me
because it actually put if you’re meant to do it it’s gonna take hard work but
everything why not everything I’ve had so many talks with my husband over the
year about finances what are we doing and it’s always gone back to I believe
in this I believe in you we’re moving forward it’s show and it
shows up everything just always works out you know when you least expect it
you know one of a spiritual teacher that I’ve read a lot of work you know he
always he always said when people would ask about worrying about financial
worrying about money I said I he would laugh and say I have a sandwich for
today and that’s all I need and I know true it’s like you know it’s you know we
either regret the past or we fear the future mm-hmm you know and it’s it’s so
easy to sit there and be like oh no I don’t have enough money to get through
to pay the bills for this month or I don’t have this but what do you have
right now that’s right are you hungry right now can you go get some food
that’s right you know let’s sounds right pull it back to that I mean not everyone
yes can but I’m saying but that’s a good way to look at it though and I know
there are times where where I mean I mean we’ve always been somewhat blessed
but I know you went in my signal like where I’m at a lot
coming from where I don’t know where food is coming from and always always
waits for me my experience something we show it absolutely yeah I thought it’s
an openness I fight it’s about honest it’s about your heart and I would love
to hear more and I maybe as I talk to people I’ll get a chance to do that of
people where maybe they have you know been in in situations where they weren’t
getting regular meals but like what’s that sir because I’ve seen and I love it
when your heart is open and you are just you are just open I am searching I am
and I am joyful I’m joyful I just feel like things absolutely my experience
it’s always showed us you know I have yes my husband I both have had times in
life were we didn’t know how we were gonna eat that might hurt him and but it
always worked out and I think it is I think it’s you know it’s it’s when you
close yourself off with that you know I’m a firm believer of what we hold my
intends to manifest and if you shut yourself off is that’s never gonna
happen today I’m never gonna get that job I’m never gonna get that interview
because of the self-doubt that’s building is I’m not worthy or not good
enough no you’re not gonna get the job cuz you’re shutting yourself off to it’s
right and it’s gonna affect how you behave it’s gonna affect what you do in
that in that job and one of the things I would totally love to encourage though
and they brought up something that I was coming back to my mind now that I really
think that I really think needs to be addressed for a lot of especially within
the women community but in general is that that that feeling of Miss the fear
of missing out and what that does to people that they feel like so for
example someone who who also wants to be a writer and they will look at successes
of others and feel that feeling of jealousy or insecurity and I think that
comes from thinking that they are taking something right and then this is like
those that like act now right I got with this offer and so there’s always this
urgent emergency fit with things and I’m like oh I’m gonna shut down person when
it comes to them like if I’m feeling like I’m being rushed I’m gonna stop and
make sure it’s my decision but the treat the reality is if you were
saying there’s only one path for each person and nobody can take that path you
know about it it’s going not the neighbors exactly because I thought
yours it’s not chores I didn’t even get on
there so I wanted to whose nose is on your face right yours that’s right right
about that note do that and you know I just had this visual is you know we’re
talking about somebody like a lot of the self-help and a lot of the the people
that are CEOs that have built a huge business in internet marketing when it
comes to saying do what I did I just boxed up what I did and I’m gonna sell
this to you and you do it and you’ll be just as successful as me and I’m not
saying that doesn’t work for certain people but it’s not gonna be married
tomorrow isn’t substance isn’t that path that they’re telling you said come
follow me that’s not your path and I just have
this visual because I’m like we’re all on our own path and you cannot get off
of it like it’s yours and you can choose to walk it or not walk it and I was
thinking when people start taking up like other people’s causes and what
they’re doing that’s not theirs I feel like it’s like putting on virtual
reality glasses but you have the illusion of walking a path right I’m on
this phantom on this rapid ultimately you’re still standing still and your
path is still under burst yeah your possibilities are unseen and whatever
you’re supposed to put off like mentors you can have people you know like
musicians there’s only one Jimi Hendrix that’s right don’t charge any Jimi
Hendrix that can be your inspiration that’s right but take that and become
your own you know I’ve had a few people reach out I love what you’re doing on
your platform and this I just I want to I want to do it like you and I I’m very
appreciative that they think what I’m doing is helpful or they find it helpful
but I’m like no you have to do your own thing in this industry you have to put
yourself out there you have to there’s millions of authors you have to be
different than everyone else once upon a time you were the one that was getting
ready to put and you have you inspired and learned in whole pieces from and
said how does this look like without you yeah what do you
don’t but don’t conform that’s that’s right because we were all and you know I
heard this great speech from this awesome lady who was talking about like
look at you what I see a miracle look in the mirror and when you think about
there’s no I mean other than twins even they’re not the same they’re probably
jeans and everything else are different it’s always some some difference mine is
different there is no – there are no two people that are alike at all I mean how
amazing is that we get to be ourselves we get to have that uniqueness we all
want you to be unique we don’t want to stand out and do the irony right at
social media I was living vicariously I got through everybody people so you know
a lot like scrolling and trolling let’s go it really is and then people
start feeling bad about their lives but I think that’s the thing is like don’t
condemn that behavior if you see yourself do everyone does it we’re
trying to judge to judge others it’s natural to say oh I wish I looked like
that or oh they’re doing better in life than I am but don’t if the thought comes
up a boo I shouldn’t feel that way don’t condemn yourself right that’s right just
condemn condemnation put you into that box I can see it for what it is and say
you know what I’ll try not just right call it out call it out within yourself
and say we know I don’t know what’s going on that person’s life exactly
exactly and said nobody’s only what you want but you see it taste true someone
it was a pastor’s wife let’s begin our mops group and she was saying that it’s
the highlight reel and all this stuff filters I’m like I wonder if you know
when people going this blind date looking at the filter and then the
person walks in and they’re like they look nothing hashtag no filter in real
life was based on how filters on it no it is becoming
the norm to do that to change our appearances you know and it’s feeding
that because right there is that temptation there is that draw from and
some more than others to wish that it was different or one different so now
there’s apps for showing up that are allowing people to play around with
those ideas and my tell us for fun but really we’re doing something I feel like
to ourselves and or when I were saying when you’re when you’re scrolling and
rolling and rolling and you see something and it makes you get that that
ping or that feeling and I can feel it yes you can feel I know you do you feel
that sting and then if you like if you don’t deal with it
maybe tell my arrows piercing it gets in there and it does dam master it does in
it and it does a lot of damage but if you like yeah I just felt this way I
don’t have to feel that way I don’t know what I don’t know this person’s full
story and I can focus on mine you know and why do I feel this way I think it’s
good in general I think it’s good to always ask why to ourselves you know we
do live in a site that’s always kind of scooting over things scoot over let me
just put those bones in this closet there and unfortunately there’s no
infinite amount of space yeah things bust out and you have no control is it
you have no control at that point when you allow it when you allow it to take
over you then you’ve lost you’ve essentially relinquished control of
dealing with it whenever it first bothers you I think that is so cool I am
just so impressed and I am so thankful that you have given us your time today
yes and by the way guys this woman is a mom and a wife why have a cup bye mom
wife bless life you know and it’s it’s just to go to show that I’m a mom and a
wife too real life and you know it’s awesome just
quick note about social media and Facebook is that what’s amazing is that
when you put yourself out there for real like you might be could edit all that
out and cut stuff out and this any other but people feel really relaxed whenever
they see like it’s because the social media you lose that authentic you know
factor of the world and it’s funny I’ll do I’ll do a lot of stories on Instagram
I’m can be so awkward when I speaking about so and I just I just give a true
life of one of them self publishing industry like and I don’t I don’t
sugarcoat anything I say how it is and sometimes I’m like oh maybe I should
reel it in but then I get these messages that say thank you for being you and
just putting it all out there you know what because people people crave that
and you do is we don’t get a lot of that it no obvious entity is the right word
and at the end of the day we want permission that we can be real – yeah I
was actually a very funny story so um so our house is mass it’s a little bit
together these days but like about a year and a half goes really I mean it
was clothes everywhere but clothes everywhere I’m a write this joke that I
was like they’re gonna they’re gonna like mutiny and and I was doing mops at
the time and I had friend come over to have coffee and it’s funny cuz I was
having a real hard morning I was in my my closet kind of having that prayer
time and I just finished nursing the baby and it was not transitioning I was
leading and all this other stuff and I just I was praying and I was like god I
just need a hug you know I just need a hug and not long after that I get a text
message from with the moms moms in it I didn’t know her super well I mean I was
we were all very new but she just you know I guess I crossed her mind and I
her sudden was going to school nearby our house and she’s like I just dropped
off my my son can I bring you a coffee I know and I was like my first instinct
was to be like well my house is a mess and children I mean any regular clothes
off I don’t have any regular clothes on and was left on my head shower
and these are things I’m thinking about and I remember I just heard this voice
that reminded me of something she said at one of our first actually was our
first mom’s meeting English she was like I don’t have people over to our house
because I just don’t feel like it’s in the right condition to have anybody over
and he reminded me and she said that and I was like okay Wow make her feel real
good about herself and then you remind me just ask for hug this person’s mind
green coffee yeah I don’t know where so I was like yeah come on over sorry if
you’re gonna have to you know jump hurdles and sidestep when you walk in
that’s American so she comes in and and she we hang out later she’s like I felt
so good whenever I saw you out I’m glad I could I know we need to wrap
this up but one more thing I think it’s so important like I try to share you
know I feel like a lot of people like the highlight reel they’re just showing
the good mm-hmm and one of my dear friends it was so
great she showed it was her son was having a birthday party and she has
three kids but it was two boys and it was time saying happy birthday and
everyone just melted you like cou like yelling at her kid she posted it she
like I wanted to give and everyone loved it so much and I was like I love those
people life is to see that you wear real real people you know have to do the
filters of the editing step out I’m gonna edit you out it out in real life
no I think so that’s what I you know I try to show the yeah I like to show cool
things that happen in my life in the industry but I also like to say like hey
look at this rejection I got today is so other people you know so you say and I
love when I see that on social media people will be like oh literary agent
said no and they’re taking they’re being brave enough to put themselves out there
to say hey look I got this bad review I got this but they don’t realize that
that’s helping that helps yourself so manage yourself out there and help so
many other great does if you even have to be a writer to be helped by that
you’re like it’s okay for me be wonderful yeah and
it doesn’t it doesn’t work out it’s okay that it doesn’t work out it is so
monopoly and you know I tried to tell my son that theater dance and though he’s
like mom I know you say no too much you know it’s like the world is filled with
know myself we have you know you have to be able to brush it off and the question
what do you do educate them now can you stop or do I
keep on going will you go keep going to get that yes
or are you checks okay will you make sure I do I still want to keep going
this is much because some people I think chase takes the wrong path and then
getting doors slammed in my face sorts movie so so that’s something I would
love to just just real quick get your your input on as well is one of the
things when traversing a path and let’s say that this is the ones designed for
you and there’s one that the ones that many of them that are not and many of
people are going towards those because it looks easy by the way no shortcuts
there are no shortcuts and then what they will try to do those
paths and as someone who is walking their own and and finding that
difference right the difference between when the doors are closing
other noes are to strengthen like you know much needed resistance to prepare
you but it’s a part of your path and when the noes are because this is just
not what you’re supposed to be doing right like like how would you for
someone it’s listening right like and my other we asked who’s listening are you
one are you on the right path are you excited are you excited about what
you’re doing what you could do with 14 hours you know that says a lot you know
in the working world they can you know legally do that what are you exception
you work 40 hours are you excited when you get up to go do whatever it is
you’re doing but so for someone who’s walking that what and telling someone
what can they watch for to see am I on my path or am I kind of doing virtual
reality on someone else’s I feel like it’s this is why I tell writers writers
who I say how do you what do you do is writer’s block mm-hmm and people think
it’s the story that you’re having a problem with the story with the
character development no that’s not the writer’s block is in my opinion writer’s
block is you have something coming up in your
an emotional block it’s not a Content block in your store it’s an emotional
block in yourself something is coming up that is keeping you from getting the
work out so I look at that as when you’re on the path and I feel like it’s
it’s the self-doubt that’ll come up it’s the I feel like I keep saying I’m coming
back circling back to self-doubt but I feel like that is it’s so it’s such a
strong program now we have to deal with all the time and I feel like that’s what
we’ll stray people the temptation and it comes up with me regularly I’ll have
temptations come up in the industry of well this is bright and shiny you know
and I think it’s not having knee-jerk reactions not reacting on emotions when
something does trigger or come up in your life it’s I think it were in such
an immediate gratification world of taking a second just just stop that’s so
true there’s a powerful place in that taking a moment just taking a moment and
listening and seeing what is the noise what’s clogging your antenna here what’s
putting you in the box kind of putting it all on the table and looking at it
and then saying okay what what it’s like doing you know your mental inventory
like what what’s the self-doubt what is this coming from why am i wanting to go
this way is this a positive right we don’t always get the answer right you
know but I feel you know I’m a very spiritual person if someone prays I
would say pray about it if if you’re if you’re an atheist if you’re not into
that that’s fine but just take a moment and really see what what’s why am I
being pulled on it too or kind of go on that door open that door what is behind
that no we’re not always gonna know right right but I think it’s so
important you know I tell people all the time to set your intention and stay true
to yourself and I think when you set that intention on that path you’re gonna
have all those doors pop up all that temptation what’s behind door number one
is you know awesome so I think it’s just it’s it’s I think it’s so crucial just
take a moment don’t you know that buy it now but on Amazon I know it’s what
happiness exactly like hurry up there’s a time clock going yes
no I’ve got to take a moment my those infomercials that run for a year yes
always thirty sign yet Here I am film myself catching my wait a minute there’s
no you know in the industry but life alone as well as it’s not it’s not a
yeah it’s not a hurry up by now way back now this will not expire got to take the
time it’s true that is so true to see like if they are on that path on the
right path you know and and look at that it’s such a good good stay in your power
just always you know and you brought up a good point
um so one of the things I learned and just hearing a lot of the voices and the
noise is I realize deciphered there’s three of them there’s three of them they
they come in different Sam’s that can seem like it’s a bunch but there’s three
voices I think we all like Shan know we all have them and one of them is our
voice one of it it’s not that positive that good voice and then when I’m is
that negative you know the prison warden the fear box all of that you know and
then some of them they also and the hard part is they all sound like your voice
and you gotta figure out which one which one do I own which one do I want to
receive and which one does not belong to me I’m kicking it out and that’s a daily
constant you know I look at voters and it’s the analogy of the vultures so it’s
so spot-on you know vultures are always circling mm-hmm Bester they’re only
gonna pick a chip you lay down that’s true – that is so I try to keep that in
mind is like don’t lay on your back for the vultures no don’t you can wonder in
the desert all get-out I can suckle you that’s right it’s when you it’s when you
lay down and surrender to these vultures it’s when they’re gonna come out you
know that and and just to you know looting in with it the first one this is
our second kind of live podcast with the with our guests and and in the
extraordinary zone and it’s interesting when I was kind of getting prepared and
kind of writing out the I like what this was like and what people
are listening and what they’re looking for and and I used the analogy yesterday
as well but you know when you are if you want to do a half marathon you don’t
just show up yeah that day there’s training it has to happen and I think
when we think about it from a physical standpoint cuz I I’m a firm believer and
I’ve seen how what happens in the physical is so easy for us to understand
what we can touch and see and do but it’s a lot harder when it’s the things
in the kind of spiritual emotional things that are not as tangible although
they have a very real space and I think when we start looking at them like the
physical helps us understand well just the same thing as you you want to do a
half marathon there is training and when you train it
is hard in order to get to that next level you have to tear some muscles and
you have to break down some stuff sometimes you might break something and
then you heal and you keep going and then you get to see the results I think
it’s hard when you don’t have that that actual physical like track and my
marathon day is this day and I have this amount of time and here is my training
schedule and this is how I know I’m making progress you know when we don’t
have that ready for us it’s purpose to keep honors that our intention you know
intention is this how do I train for this and I think if we look at it from
that perspective I’m so I have to think about this then it’s easy for us to set
our goals and set our timelines and and I was gonna reevaluate why am i running
oh my one run you know cuz maybe I shouldn’t be you know and everything am
i doing it because it looks cool because everybody’s doing it cuz it’s trendy cuz
the best the case you’re gonna fall away from it and you’re not gonna enjoy it
even if you make it it’s gonna make you miserable
there’s a time yeah exactly and it’s a hard thing to do when especially if
you’re not supposed to be doing it or don’t want to be doing it so um so I
think it’s what you need to look at that training so like I would love for these
these podcasts especially with our guests and people who are telling us
like there’s a peek into my path and this is what it looks like I mean don’t
do my bad but just understand it is it’s hard it’s supposed to be hard and you’re
not alone it’s hard for you you aren’t alone it’s hard it’s a struggle yeah
anyone tells you know it’s not as fully yes you’re Kirsten the highlight reel
yeah you know and and I think that it helps I for me as someone who’s kind of
stepping out you know it helps community having that cheerleader having that
person is gonna speak having that person is gonna be like you
know what I’m further down that path it is not abnormal you know it’s like you
said only takes one I mean I’m an introvert I
I love being by myself I’d sit my room all day by myself but I can also be very
social if I need to be but yeah it’s having you know I have I
have a very very dear best friend whom I call my advisor and she you know it’s
like you said it’s like we talked about it’s you know quality over quantity I
can have one conversation with her and she’ll pull me out of there it’s all the
mass that’s trying to come in and bombard you’re like no there’s like
y’all go you know for some people that like to be the social butterflies they
you know it’s it’s it’s getting it from everybody else you know and then hearing
it from little little pieces in there which is fine there’s no right or wrong
it’s just um yeah I say whatever’s we’re still it’s there for us I do feel like
everything we need is there fresh you’re open that’s right and and folks on there
anything that is just so amazing and I just I hope and pray that everyone’s
listening watching it’s just being encouraged we’d love to be social you
can find my sweet friend on instagram under author underscore J and on
Facebook under the secret IV put secret time awesome you can find her she also
has a website you can follow her as well as some really neat instructional videos
right yes those are on on Instagram I do I have a series kind of goes behind the
scenes of the self-published publishing industry could you do some tips and
tricks of the trade so those of you who are interested in starting that journey
connect with her she is wonderful person who will totally point you in the right
direction for your path we here at house of zeti slash opt out would love to hear
from you tube there’s anything that we can do to serve please let us know we
just want to make sure that you feel loved you feel relaxed youthful filled
with light when you visit with us we are so glad that you joined us whether not
long after we call approached it or years later we are so glad that you’re
here and we know that there’s a reason that you have invested a very valuable
time with us and we thankful for you and again let us know
if there’s anything we could do we love you please join us again on our
extraordinary zone where we opt out of the norm and we do in traverse the crazy
and the extraordinary because we are all we are every one of us are extraordinary
you’re extraordinary my husband is our expert thank you very
extraordinary I love you and have a wonderful rest of your day

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