Super Creepy Things About The Resurrection – An Easter Prose

There are a lot of things about the resurrection
that we think of as truly wondrous and miraculous, but I’ve got to say, if I were in the shoes
of the witnesses, these things would certainly creep me right out! So, you are a regular guy living in a regular
town somewhere around Jerusalem in Zero Century. You’ve never seen a lightbulb. You’ve never seen a microwave. You’ve never seen a camera let alone a phone
that takes pictures, and the closest thing you’ve ever seen to a car is a Roman chariot. Here’s a possible narrative from your side
of the story. “I’ve been hanging around my best friend
for a couple of years now. The thing about him is that everyone calls
him their best friend. But there’s something really special about him. He’s not just a nice guy; he’s really
smart; and he can do stuff – like really cool stuff! And crazy stuff always happens around him. What do I mean? I mean he heals people; folks who ask him
to cure their illnesses, don’t keep their sicknesses for long. And one time he broke a few loaves of bread
in half and thousands of people were fed; crazy, right? Another time, I was in a boat with him and
a bunch of our other buddies. The storm was so bad we all thought we were
going to die. All he said were three words, “Peace, be still,” and instantly the sea became as flat as the ground. He was a little annoyed at us but I wonder
sometimes if he just likes to leave people speechless, because everyone’s jaws
dropped to the floor. But the weirdest and creepiest stuff happened
during that one weekend. We were all sleeping in the garden
except him. He stayed up to pray. He asked us to stay up with him but we were
all just too tired and stuffed from a big supper. After all, we didn’t think it really mattered,
but all of a sudden we were surrounded by Roman soldiers. I thought we were all going to jail, but then
he asked them, “Who are you looking for?” The soldier in charge said, “Jesus of Nazareth.” Jesus looked at him and again just said
three little words, “I AM HE.” And as soon as he said that, all the soldiers
went hurtling backwards to the ground like somebody came along and punched each one of
them all at the same time. The weirdest thing was that we were all
standing in a mixed group but none of the disciples were hit. We all just stood there watching all the soldiers
around us trying to get up off the ground. I’m telling you, you never know what’s
going to happen around this guy. I know it wasn’t fair but after that they
just took him. I was thinking all he would have had to say
was a couple of more words and those soldiers would have been dead! He must have just let them take him. But why would he do that? The next thing I know
he’s hanging on a cross and there’s nothing anybody could do about it. It was more than just the middle of a cloudy
day – it was pitch-black outside. You could see but only by the soldier’s
torches. Even though he’s up there nearly dead, he’s
still trying to talk. He talked to the people on the ground, he
talked to the soldiers; he even talked to the other guys who were being crucified along with him. Then all of a sudden he gives out this big
long shout. He goes, “It is finished!” and it’s
like his very words started an earthquake! Literally, the ground started shaking and
he’s up there shouting. And as soon as he was quiet, so was the ground. That was creepy. It was just like the water when we were on
the boat. After that he was dead. It’s still hard to talk about. I know he was dead because one of the soldiers
came by and stuck him with a spear into his side just like he was sticking a knife into
a roasted mutton. He didn’t deserve that. In fact, he didn’t deserve any of this. He was a terrific person but I know he was
dead because he didn’t even flinch. I’ve seen a few dead bodies in my time and
trust me – it’s not pretty. After that it was just the clean-up. They took him down. They wrapped him up. They put him in a tomb. They didn’t even bother to do a proper job
because they were in such a hurry. After all it was almost the Sabbath. When I think about it, it’s almost like
the Sabbath was more important than people. He was a good man after all. He didn’t deserve a ‘rush job’ for his funeral. Then we all went home. He was dead and so were all our dreams. What else was there to do but stay out of
the way of the Romans or else one of us would be next. I thought that would be it, but then a few
days later those girls went out to the tomb. They agreed with me and they wanted to finish
the job properly because they loved him too. We should have gotten a clue when we felt
another earthquake happening. The next thing you know some of the girls
are rushing back to the house saying he was gone! I had to see for myself
so I ran back to the tomb. But even though I needed to know the truth,
I wasn’t quite ready for what I would see. When I got there one of the guys had beaten me there. He was just standing there at the entrance, but I didn’t care about any cleanliness rules. I just pushed him out of the way and ran right in. My heart stopped when I looked down at the
slab of rock where he had been laid. There he was staring straight back at me – the blood on his forehead – the blood on his hands. All the emotions came rushing back and I was
devastated all over again. I took a breath and waited for my eyes to
adjust. Then I thought, “Wait a minute,
that isn’t him at all.” It was a folded cloth
lying where his head had been, and another where the rest of his body had been. The cloths had images on them that looked
as though he was staring straight back at me. Some might say that it would be enough to
make your hair stand on end, but this shook me right to the core. How could this happen? How could this be? He was there, and yet he wasn’t. There was a cloth, there was an image, there
was blood, and yet his body was really gone. I went back to the house. I had to process. My head was reeling. What? How? Why? Where? I couldn’t bend my head around it. All of us were dumbfounded,
and we were so scared. As we sat around the table that night we were
all so sick with worry, something that he had constantly told us not to do. By this time there were rumors flying around
that some had seen him. We dismissed them wondering if they had just
seen a ghost. One of the guys had gone around a couple of
times to make sure all the doors were locked. Ghosts or Romans,
no one was getting through those doors. As we sat in silence fretting and wringing our hands, all of a sudden we heard a familiar voice, “Peace be unto you.” We all whipped around to see who had said that, and there he was standing with us. He just stood there with a silly little grin on his face. No lightning; no earthquake; no sound. It was as if he had been there all along. But I knew it. I KNEW IT! After seeing everything that he had done in his life, I should have given him a little more credit. He had scars on his forehead and holes in his hands. Anyone could see that he had been through hell but I knew my best friend when I saw him. He wasn’t a ghost. He was just as solid as you or I. Relief couldn’t even begin to describe how I felt and I just couldn’t hold my tears back any longer. I grabbed him and I hugged him and I was DONE.”

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