Nic Sheff, Author In Recovery: His Parent’s Shame l The Partnership

I think my parents when they first started realizing that I had a problem, I think my parents really
felt…I think they felt ashamed and embarrassed and so I felt like, I feel
like they didn’t want to share with anyone what was going on because they
felt like they would be judged negatively somehow. So you know I think
they felt absolutely alone also and I I know my dad actually tells the story
about the time that he finally told [you know] his first, yeah I mean told his
friend, you know the for the first time that that you know this was going on
with me and how you know he almost like started crying because he felt you know
just like so ashamed and yeah his friend was like you know “Oh really? Like my
cousin is going through the same thing.” Like I feel like it seems like this
really shameful thing, but almost every single person is touched by addiction in
some way and you know people really are more open minded and non-judgmental than
a lot of times I think we give them credit for being, but then you know I
think when it came time to trying to get help for me, my dad and mom, you know, did also feel very much alone then too because they just, you know, they didn’t
know which programs to send me to or who to trust and you know who everyone you
know everyone has these different opinions about what’s best and and you know it’s
hard to really feel like you can trust anyone or or or connect with somebody
you know who’s gonna really help so I know that was a really hard thing for
them. Ultimately, you know they were able to, I think just sort of, you know, blindly in some ways just pick a treatment center to send me to and you
know I went into this place in San Francisco and I know that, you know, it
was really scary for them, but actually it was cool, because the counselors and
stuff there they did like a whole family group program so that, you know, it wasn’t
just like for me as “the addict,” it was also like for my family to come in and
get support and talk about all this stuff and, you know, and they were
there not with other families too of people who were in there so you know it
was very much this feeling if we were you know sort of all in it together and
you know that makes all the difference.

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