Improve your Writing: Show, Not Tell

50 thoughts on “Improve your Writing: Show, Not Tell

  1. My favorite example that i created myself

    Tell
    "She stepped over the bodies, not caring about them, only focused on the person in the middle of the fight, which she also didnt care for."

    Show
    "The person she was after was in the middle of the brawl, already bodies were strewn around it, so she stepped over them, she needed to get to the middle."

  2. Good video! I have something to add which I learned from my writing classes. Many of your "showing" sentences used the to-bes "was" or "were". These words in and of themselves can lead to passive and even telling writing–not to mention verbose writing, meaning using more words than necessary to describe or say something. Outside of thoughts and dialogue (people do talk that way after all), to-be's (am, are, is, was, were, be, being, been) should usually be eliminated.

    Example 1-"The man was fidgeting and biting his nails." could be written as "The man fidgeted and bit his nails." This eliminates a bit of verbose making the sentence more active and crisp.

    Example 2-"There was a leftover pizza, dirty clothes…" could be written in a more active way by writing it as "A leftover pizza and dirty clothes lied strewn about the floor."

    Hope this helps other writers out there. Thanks for reading!

  3. Thank you so much for your video. I am looking forward to my exams in english tomorrow and your vid helped helped me a lot

  4. This was pretty good review. He makes good points. If you think this is insufficient please make your own video, I'd love to watch it!

  5. Benjamin, has anyone ever told you that you look just like Max Schreck? You know, thee German actor who played Count Orlok in Nosferatu from 1922?. . . 🤓

  6. I'm sorry, but I learned more from this random six-minute YouTube video on how to improve writing skills than my school my parents paid so much for. I feel like videos just like this are more effective for me and it costs literally nothing.

  7. The girl's head began to droop and her eyes started to close before finding this video. Thank you for the cadence, handsome face, and spectacular information!

  8. A nice general principle but even the great authors report what characters are thinking and how they feel. Many examples…

  9. Indeed. I find those remarks very helpful for stronger and better wtiting. I love the way u describe things. Besides, I do like your accent.

  10. I see that in the comments people argue if it's a better rule to cut out unnecesarry details (so it doesn't become boring etc.) or if you should take the time to detail more. I think it's tricky, and you cannot have a golden rule. The hard part is, that you actually have to feel it yourself, or ask others, about /if some of your words started working, as intended. You cannot have a rule for that, you have to learn to feel it, like in music, if it the words can move you, connect to you

  11. This is very helpful. Now, I am trying to balance the teaching “keep it simple and cut all the unnecessary” and this one. But this i very helpful for creative writing. 🙂

  12. wowwwwww I am your new subscriber, and by the way did anyone tell you, you are the best? I learnt a lot from this video. thanks

  13. Her heart had been pulsating, constraining in on itself with a type of panicked urge to ostracize itself. The urge compressed, and she had thought that would relieve the pressure that had previously been straining the delicate organ- her thoughts were for nought, as she was in the wrong deliberating in a manner that provoked little thought. The gnarled, gnawing urge that she felt grew almost compulsively, as if the thought of it vanishing was a mere luxury. She grew steadily more panicked as the braided confines of veins began to falter beneath the catalyst of that same urge, and her tears left silent lacerations to her soul as twinging torment sent her into deafening paroxysms. The benightedness that had- at one point- seemed to dissipate her proved to rupture her, her state of ruin her own through ignorance.

    Okay, so that’s the end of that short little snippet of writing, because this video made me think I decided to write it! I’d like to ask something of you, however.

    One: What do you think is happening to the woman?

    Two: Would you grade me?

    Thank you!

  14. I can across your video via Secret smart scripter – there's lots great videos there that should help out

  15. You can catch me watching videos on enhancing my writing skills. When life events do not occupy my time, I wll locked myself in my room and pull out my notebook. My my thumb, index, and middle finger pushes the pen on the paper until I produce a creative literature.

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