I'm Not Okay | Spoken Word Poetry

where as long as I can remember I've always had this void in my life this empty feeling deep deep inside of me that you can't quite shape no matter how hard you try it's a consumes and eats away you have great happy moments and just when you think things are fine surprise the feeling always comes back it's just a matter of time the constant frustration to feel this point something to ease the pain what's so cool is nobody knows yet you feel the Sun emptiness every single day it leaves you feeling so empty and Dow like you're missing something somehow something that's a big part of me and once I have it I'll be happy I just need that one thing this missing key and once I get my hands on it I'll be complete because I tried everything friends education material stuff no matter how hard I try and that seems to be enough this sucks I don't know people tell me that I just need to think more positively or a solution to all my problems is of love there's not simple as that not when you've got to the point where you just feel numb I so badly want to fill my house so much happiness it takes all the sadness away my childhood was so dark and angry that I always thought in my other life things would change somehow I would no longer feel the same and I don't things aren't as intense anymore but there's no denying that his feelings always they I something I can't explain I just wish you would go away I always thought I want to grow up things will be different I just thought that things would be different you look at other people they always seem so happy you know you have to save people's lives with a mean person social media TV and he always seems to come to those willing up to me and I know I know that stuff can be misleading but when you feel so empty you can't help but look and think I can't let me me cuz you want you so desperately want / and you feel like you're doing all the right things you know you're hanging out with friends talking about it dancing to city music and in the moment you feel great during a good happy place sooner or later that meeting goes away and the emptiness kicks in again do I sound crazy God like a something so crazy I tend to feel a lot late online that's what I write sometimes I'm so overwhelmed with emotion I just arrived and I don't know why it makes me feel like this something wrong with me and it's sad to admit so it becomes easier to lie and pretend that everything's fine so that's what I say I say that I'm fine bands for my pastel effect model volume eyelash I'll get down up knowing I can't explain why you just get so messed up in my head sometimes because you can't escape it not what is what happens in your mind so you beat yourself up and you beat yourself up to you socks sometimes you can be in a room full of people and still feel so alone I can put on an act intend to beat her the deep down I never quite feel brave enough you can feel so small in this big big world I feel like all I have are my words to keep my sense of control these poems they like my therapy you know a way to release and pour out my soul in hopes I'll make me feel better and somehow fill this empty hole one day I'll be able to look back at everything and I won't hit so much anymore I'll be able to look back at what happened and not feel so so because there's no cure there's no quick way to fix it it's just something you learn to live with but I'll get easier you are not the demons in your mind you are not the hair and pain you feel the inside you stronger than loud you can fight understand also temporary under these things take time so chin up breathe but I start to feel I was in the rest of me you're going to get through this give it some time and your you you

33 thoughts on “I'm Not Okay | Spoken Word Poetry

  1. There's always a reason for everything we're going through. Even if it doesn't feel great or genuine. Perhaps a part of the journey is finding out the reason behind our experiences and then questioning them relentlessly in order to find meaning. This is tiring yet it's liberating. Many people find this process altogether irrelevant, living their life and "taking it easy." While it's good to relax every once in a while it's also a pitfall to ignore ignore struggle and direction.

    What purpose can truth serve if one makes no inquiry? How does strength take form if one's life wasn't first weakened? What is light if I never first met the dark and conquered it?

    One day you will look back. And things will be different because life is changing even now. One of the best parts about change is that we don't necessarily have to ask it to. Life moves forward whether we want it to or not. And by then the colors and strands of our lives will be connected in ways we could not have imagined, yielding for us impossible rewards.

    Love surrounds you, Taz. Even when you feel alone it's there.

    And great piece. Loved it!

  2. I fought well against life. I fought like its the only thing I do. I get up cause I wanna spit at it for giving me only shitty cirscumstances. I want to show to the fcking world I will not let it kill me. Ive put my nose in the grindstone and endure the beating. I did not let any tear escape. I suck it up all inside. But its not fair you know. If it cant make life harder it then take my feelings too. Its not fair that I feel so empty right now. Its not fair. Fuck it! I dont want this. Its not fair. I want to stop being this hump, dejected person with a shitty dead eyes too you know. Its not fuvking fair. Its not. Im sorry for talking too much but its just not so fair to be like this when the world is smiling and although you smiled back it doesnt change anything that you feel nothing in that smile. It sucks that although when you give something it still feel as if you never smiled at all. Its just not fair to be this dead. Its not fair.



  4. hey there are probably many people out there in this world who feel the same including me…so yeah you are not alone 👍

  5. Thank you.
    God bless Taz is here to blurt it out to the world.
    This needs to be seen.
    Coming clean and knuckling down to the truth it needs to happen.
    Make someone happy today.
    It isn’t hard just smile at someone.
    Thank you.
    And thank you Taz for being so honestly yet respectful.
    Thank you. I love you.

  6. This video that I finally found describes in 100% what’s going on in my head… I couldn’t explain it but this video describes everything

  7. Omg taz this is honestly amazing I have never heard someone say something that I hin stay relate to so much it’s nice to know people feel that ❤️

  8. Jesus can forever fill that void inside if you let Him, that's why you have a void in the first place. He's waiting for you with outstretched arms. The choice is yours to make sweetie 🙂

  9. When my friends ask me y I’m sad I say that even the richest person could be sad and that sometimes there are no reasons for sadness

  10. But what if it's been so long that your body is to exaughsted to heal. After all you spend your remaining energy fighting trhough the endless day if torture. Just enough to survive, but whats the point of surviving when you cant even live?

  11. One thing that most people don’t understand is that we don’t know. Sometimes people don’t know why they’re sad. Every time I cry in front of my parents they ask me why I cry and I say I don’t know and they get frustrated with me and think I’m locking them out. But I genuinely mean it and I don’t fucking know why I’m sad and a lotta people don’t know why I’m sad so why is the answer “I don’t know” unacceptable? Because honestly

    I don’t know.

    but I wish I knew

  12. You look at that person I wish I was her she is so popular and you just feel like you were like that I got bullied and it was horrible but know I have got a friend who really loves me and I hope if your going through a lot I just want to tell you it will get better I have hope that it will believe in yourself you can do this

  13. The curse of having strong scorpio energy in your chart – you can't espace feeling and thinking everything through 'till you've reached the other side of it. It sucks most of the time, but it's also what makes us evolve.

  14. I’m stuck in a room of emptiness and darkness. The person that people see is not me. That is fake. It’s just a illusion. It’s just pretending.

    Why can’t people recognize the real me that’s stuck in the room?…

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