George Watsky- Drunk Text Message to God [Poetry]



should knock I told you what she did last night although I was introduced as being 20 I'm actually 21 years old oh yeah he knows the importance I'm not trying to brag or anything I'm going to tell you about my light night last night had a couple beers you know yeah got a little tipsy got a little existential crisis you last night a drunk text messaged god I just wanted to tell him I've been thinking about him a lot and to tell him I'm stalking a church I meant to write starting a church no one spells drunk text right anyway last night I sent out a buttload of embarrassing text and then copied them to everyone I know like yo like sup like I was out sinning crawled into bed the room is spinning it's all in my head I can't get to sleep in the way to the world is the way to my sheets here's the great thing about my church you keep the religion cuz my church is for those of us who grew up wishing we believed in an afterlife and for those of us who were so close to God we could practically lean over and make out with her my church is sick of bloody Crusades – the march of drum cores I'm starting a church they get pissed off and starts thumb wars maybe a church that gets Monday's off religious reasons a church that throws foam parties and elevators to learn about praise the roof the roof the roof is on fire we'll dance as it burns for eight magical days that was a Jewish reference and no offense to Gideon Bibles but my church goes into hotel rooms and fills the drawers at the top with chocolate pillow mints at my church if you choose to come to Sunday school you don't learn about hell hell no you eat John Stewart and Stephen Colbert shaped potato chips and watch Chappelle's Show my church had Ten Commandments five precepts and a workplace abuse handbook but we partied hard last week and I think we left them in a restroom at Chuck E Cheese now we just go by picture of a heart that I found in a bar napkin my church tongue-kissed your mom last night uh I'm just kidding she left five red fingers across my face we hung out with the Creator I think she loves you she's beautiful she's got daughter tattooed on her left bicep – son on her right my church is at the center of the planet and has the most amazing stained-glass windows the glass is the floor the ocean the colors when you look up and see blue and a manatee I love manatees and the forest canopy Tony Montana comes to my church and forgets he left his cocaine in the car we play stairway to heaven on Hendrix with broken guitar my church gets fucked up on communion wine asks lampposts to be our Valentine my church bar hops together in my church if you don't blow yourself to smithereens you get 17 virgins in a room to yourself where you go and play starfox together my church got beat up by the skateboard kids for being a rollerblade kid but rolled to school the next day on one skate and two crutches drew to the fight with a fist in the air screaming fruit booters unites much church can feel its pulse in its fingertips has three stomachs because our fear is hard to swallow but love always has room my church has a love bladder and always asked to go to the bathroom there are drawbacks of course my church will not resurrect your dead hamster my church will not play for keeps wear Versace give out baby Jesus tamagotchis and Tom Cruise thinks my church sucks balls I'm not Jesus Christ but I can turn water into kool-aid and I'm not Jim Jones but my church is like totally occult and everyone drinks the kool-aid and everyone dies but for some people the kool-aid doesn't kick him until you're 105 surrounded by everyone who matters most you yes some of us go early but at my church you have to think about that possibility because my church makes you scared I'm talking like waves of fear like you're lying at bed at night you pull the blankets up to your neck and your covers are like a tsunami of fear and you start hyperventilating thinking about here getting older way faster than your dreams are getting accomplished about how skinny your arms are about how fat your tummy is how much is gonna suck to eventually lose the power to think about all the badass stuff we do it our charge don't fall asleep yet contrary to popular belief that's not where dreams get accomplished the body of Christ is your body the body of Buddha be your body your body be usable your body be suitable your body be dutiful you don't need anything different keep your broken cell phones don't delete your text messages you might read those stupid-ass badly spelled rants over on Sunday morning with a pounding headache and have a religious experience thank you guys Oh

33 thoughts on “George Watsky- Drunk Text Message to God [Poetry]

  1. I got to go see Watsky in concert at a small bar in Missoula. I've been watching his videos since the beginning.it's amazing to have seen his career grow! Such a talented guy, so thrilled I got to meet him!

  2. I’m not trying to brag or anything but I’m going to tell you about my night last night
    Had a couple beers, ya know
    Yeah, got a little tipsy
    Got a little existential crisis-y

    Last night I drunk text messaged God
    I just wanted to tell him I’d been thinkin’ about him
    A lot
    And to tell him I’m stalking a church
    I meant to write starting a church
    No one spells drunk texts right, anyway
    Last night I sent out a buttload of embarrassing texts and then copied them to everyone I know
    Like “Yo”
    Like “Sup”
    I was out sinning
    Curled in a bed
    The room is spinning
    It’s all in my head
    I can’t get to sleep
    And the weight of the world
    Is the weight of my sheets
    Here’s the great thing about my church:
    You can keep your religion ‘cause my church is for those of us who grew up wishing we believed in an afterlife
    And for those of us who were so close to god we could practically lean over and make out with her
    My church is sick of bloody crusades to the march of drum corps
    I’ll start a church that gets pissed off and starts thumb wars
    Maybe a church that gets Mondays off for religion reasons
    A church that throws phone parties in elevators to learn about praise
    The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire
    We’ll dance as it burns for 8 magical days
    That was a Jewish reference
    No offense to Gideon bibles but my church goes into hotel rooms and fills up the drawers with chocolate pillow mints
    And my church, if you choose to come to Sunday school, you don’t learn about hell
    Hell no
    You eat Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert shaped potato chips and watch Chapelle’s show
    My church had 10 commandments, 5 precepts, and a workplace abuse handbook but we partied hard last week and I think we left them in a restroom at Chuckie Cheese
    Now we just go by a picture of a heart that I found on a bar napkin
    My church tongue-kissed your mom last night
    Um, I’m just kidding
    She left 5 red fingers across my face
    We hung out with the creator
    I think she loves you
    She’s beautiful
    She’s got ‘daughter’ tattooed on her left bicep
    ‘Son’ on her right
    My church is at the center of the planet and has the most amazing stained-glass windows
    The glass is the floor of the ocean
    The colors are where you look up and see blue and a manatee
    I love manatees
    And the forest canopy
    Tony Montana comes to my church and forgets he left his cocaine in the car
    We play “Stairway to Heaven” on Hendrix’s broken guitar
    My church gets fucked up on communion wine
    Asks lamp posts to be our Valentine
    My church bar hops together
    At my church, if you don’t blow yourself to smitherines, you get 17 virgins in a room to yourself
    Where you go and play Starfox together
    My church got beat up by the skateboard kids for being a rollerblade kid
    But rolled to school the next day on one skate and 2 crutches
    True to the fight
    With a fist in the air
    Screaming “fruit Buddhas unite!”
    My church can feel it’s pulse in it’s fingertips
    Has 3 stomachs because our fear is hard to swallow
    But love always has room
    My church has a love bladder and always asks to go to the bathroom
    There are drawbacks of course:
    My church will not resurrect your dead hamster
    My church will not play for keeps
    Wear Versace
    Give out baby Jesus Tomagachi’s
    And Tom Cruise thinks my church sucks balls
    I’m not Jesus Christ
    But I can turn water into Kool-Aid
    And I’m not Jim Jones
    But my church is like, totally a cult
    And everyone drinks the Kool-Aid
    And everyone dies!
    But for some people the Kool-Aid doesn’t kick in until you’re 105
    Surrounded by everyone who matters most to you
    Yes, some of us go early, but at my church you have to think about that possibility
    ‘Cause my church makes you scared
    I’m talkin’ like waves of fear
    Like you’re lying awake at night
    And you pull the blankets up to your neck
    And your covers are like a tsunami of fear
    And you start hyperventilating
    Thinking about how you’re getting older way faster than your dreams are getting accomplished
    About how skinny your arms are
    About how fat your tummy is
    About how much it’s gonna suck to eventually lose the power to think about all the badass stuff we do at our church
    Don’t fall asleep yet
    Contrary to popular belief, that’s not where dreams get accomplished
    The body of Christ is your body
    The body of Buddha be your body
    Your body be usable
    Your body be suitable
    Your body beautiful
    You don’t need anything different
    Keep your broken cell phones
    Don’t delete your text messages
    You might read those stupid-ass,
    Badly spelled rants over on a Sunday morning with a pounding headache
    And have a religious experience.

  3. I was out sinning
    Curled in a bed
    The room is spinning
    It’s all in my head
    I can’t get to sleep
    And the weight of the world
    Is the weight of my sheets

  4. So much truth in this poem, eventually u only need love, not 10 commandments
    cause real love wont kill eachother
    real love wont make out with someone elses wife
    real love wont steal from another
    real love wont lie

    cause real love cares for everyone no boundry of nation no boundry of money, no boundry for giving someone a hug who needs it.

  5. In another life, Watsky could've been a successful mega-church preacher. Seeing him live is mesmerizing. He can command a room and make it look like he's not even trying.

  6. ''The quality sucks'' Its from 2008, what the fuck did you expect? It's great no matter the quality

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