David Spade’s Writers Really Shouldn’t Use the Celebrity Hotline – Lights Out with David Spade


Oh, whoa!
It’s our celebrity hotline. -It can be any star
in the world. -Wow. -Hello?
-Who is it? Oh, no, it’s Bobby,
our dumb writer. (laughter) Hey, Dave, what’s up? Hey, Bobby, why are you calling
the celebrity hotline? I’m at 7-Eleven
across the street. Have you been to this one? -It’s plush.
-FEIMSTER: Plush? I’m getting some sunflower
seeds, do you want anything? SPADE: Bobby, we have sunflower
seeds at the office. Not the ranch. (laughter) -He’s right.
-Plus, I scored you Corn Nuts. I don’t like those. Have you had the ranch? Bobby, why’d you call
this number? This is a private line
for stars. I can see myself in the monitor.
Actually, I look thin. All that generic Adderall
is paying off. (laughter) Dave, I got the number
from the writers’ room, and no one uses it. (laughter) Hey, hold on, Dave. There’s… A bus is going by here. Are you getting this magic? Yes, yes, we’re getting it all. Hey, Dave, you want a Slurpee
or something? Uh, we got to keep moving. I’ll vouch
for the cherry flavor. -The blue one is tight, also.
-Okay, well, that sounds good. Why don’t you grab one
for everybody. (cheering and applause) (chuckles):
Wait, everyone in the crowd? I can’t carry all that back. I’ll get Slurpee all over
my shirt from Marshalls. Just do it. I’ll give you
seven bucks for your shirt. You’ll give me seven bucks? Okay. Hold on, Dave.
I’m in this guy’s way. He’s a… Oh, he’s a big boy. He’s… I bet
he’s getting some snacks. He came to the right place,
I’ll tell you that. (laughter) Okay, let’s wrap it up. Hey. Hey, Dave, I got to go. I’m getting a call
on the other line. -(scoffs) Oh, you got to go?
-I’ll hit you back. I got to go, yeah.
I’ll hit you back. All right, got to go. Okay. (cheering and applause) Night of a thousand bits. -Man, that’s the happiest person
at 7-Eleven. -All right. He’s stoked to be there.

13 thoughts on “David Spade’s Writers Really Shouldn’t Use the Celebrity Hotline – Lights Out with David Spade

  1. Silly remote on the tele-prompter with goofy everyman from the staff going “Hey, Dave!”… why am I getting flashbacks?

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