Dave Chappelle – F*ck Ashton Kutcher (Def Poetry Jam)

[Applause] thank you thank you very much you know damn it's a lot of pressure they old for me I couldn't say no the Russell's and Stanley too powerful this first poem is called fuck Ashton Kutcher fuck Ashton Kutcher the public image butcher his shows a hit and I can't stand that shit I don't even know and I hate his guts if you Punk me I won't sign the release because whenever he pumps black people it always involves the police he's been having all my folks at home rolling brandy did you know that that jewelry was stolen but hey I'm a star we'll stop shining and get your ass out that car [Applause] now he wouldn't like it if me and my friends just before dawn Buster's house with some ski man stone put a gun in his mouth and turned on the lights and just when he screams out yell outside can you sign this release I want to entertain people with your fear you punk bitch thank you name this poem is how I got the lead on Jeopardy the skull is 200 were all tad naked Nick and it's my turn to address Alex Trebek I closed my eyes and I thank the Lord finally my categories on the board I'll take fucked up things why people did for a thousand outs a bell went off this could mean trouble today's answer my friends is the Daily Double I took a deep breath healed myself steady and Alex Rick was like Dave well you're ready hit the buzzer what is yes and Alex said I didn't ask you to question yet now how much money you're willing to bet smile with confidence handle my balls I said Alex I'm willing to bet it all [Applause] and as that okay here's a question they stole these people's land as they gave them syphilis whose everybody is not white Alex looked at the car disappointed oh my god he's right thank you thank you very much

21 thoughts on “Dave Chappelle – F*ck Ashton Kutcher (Def Poetry Jam)

  1. I can feel this. Seen every episode of two and a half men 10 times except the ones with him in it. I've never seen a millisecond of one of his episodes.

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