Communication Techniques – How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes (animated book summary) – Part 1

Have you ever admired those successful people
who seem to “have it all”? They’re the ones with the best jobs, the nicest
spouses, the finest friends and the biggest bank accounts. But wait a minute. A lot of them aren’t smarter than you. They’re not more educated than you. They are not even more muscular or better
looking. What it boils down to is their more skillful
way of dealing with fellow human beings. And whether it’s landing the job, winning
the promotion or charming a new partner, other people are your greatest resource. The Internet has been touted as the ultimate
tool for bringing people together. You can have fun with an ever expanding network
of “friends” on Facebook. Still we have to remember that spending hours
in front of a screen is a poor substitute for the full spectrum of experience offered
by face to face time with another person. Today I’ll be sharing five techniques from
a great book on communication skills: “How to talk to anyone” by Leil Lowndes. So let’s jump right in. Technique number one: THE FLOODING SMILE You don’t want to be walking around with a
constant smile on your face. Great communicators know their smile is one
of their most powerful weapons, so they’ve fine tuned it for maximum impact. When their smile does emerge, it has more
potency and the world smiles with them. Don’t flash an immediate smile when you greet
someone. Instead, look at the other person’s face for
a second. Pause. Soak in their persona. Then let a big, warm, responsive smile flood
over your face and overflow into your eyes. The split second delay convinces people your
smile is genuine and only for them. Technique number two: STICKY EYES To most people in the western culture, profound
eye contact signals trust, knowledge and confidence. The trick here is to pretend your eyes are
glued to your conversation partner. You don’t break contact even after he or she
has finished speaking. And when you must look away, do it ever so
slowly and reluctantly. If you have trouble looking people in the
eyes, just look at their eyebrows or their nose. Exaggerated eye contact can be extremely advantageous, especially between men and women. In business, even when romance is not in the
picture, strong eye contact can pack a powerful punch between sexes. Now, gentlemen. When talking to other men, you too can use
sticky syes. Just make them a little less sticky when discussing
personal matters, or your listener might feel threatened or misunderstand your intentions. Technique number three: LIMIT THE FIDGET Professional communicators consciously suppress
any signs anyone could mistake for shiftiness. They don’t massage their arm when it tingles
or rub their nose when it itches. They never put their hands on their faces. They don’t loosen their collar when it’s hot,
nor do they blink constantly. They put up with discomfort, because they
know fidgeting undermines their credibility. Consider the infamous presidential debate
between Richard Nixon and John Kennedy. The speculation is that Nixon’s fidgeting
and rubbing his brow on camera lost him the election. If you want to come across as entirely credible,
try to limit all unnecessary movement when your communication counts. Let your nose itch, your ear tingle, and keep
your hands away from your face. If you don’t, the listener will likely get
a gut feeling you’re lying or hiding something, even though you’re not. Technique number four: PARROTING You know in tennis how the ball is going back
and forth over the net? Likewise in conversation, the conversational
ball goes back and forth. First you speak, then your partner speaks,
then you speak, and so on. Now what if the ball lands on your court and
it’s your turn to speak, but your mind goes blank? Don’t panic, just repeat or “parrot” the last
two or three words your companion said, in a sympathetic, questioning tone. That throws the conversational ball right
back in your partner’s court and then all you need to do is listen. For example: “Hey, I went to the theater last night.” “The theater?” “Yes, it was a great show.” “Great show?” “Yeah, great music and such a bizarre story
…” “Bizarre story?” You can also paddle back, and later in the
conversation parrot previous phrases. “You said it had great music?” Don’t overdo this, though, as it can get extremely
annoying for your conversational partner if they don’t have too much to say either. If they do have too much to say, this is the
perfect technique to let them run their mouth. Technique number five: WEAR A WHATZIT Starting a conversation with someone you don’t
know yet, can be hard. A Whatzit can help you solve that problem. What is a Whatzit? It’s something you wear or carry that is unusual. A strange tie, a unique pin, an interesting
purse, or an amusing hat. It’s any object that draws people’s attention. So whenever you go to a gathering, wear something
unique to give people an excuse to approach you. Same goes for when you’re the one trying to
start a conversation with someone you don’t know yet. Try to find something interesting the person
is wearing that could lead to potential communication. I once got a T-shirt as a birthday gift. It was nothing special, but it had a text
on it that said: “Girls are mean”. Whenever I wore that shirt to a party, or
anywhere else, I got tons of girls commenting on it, instantly helping me break the ice. I didn’t even have to approach them, they
approached me. “Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice your
… what is that?” Thanks for watching. These were five great techniques to upgrade
your conversation skills today. Let me know which one was your favorite in
the comments down below. And if you’re still hungry for more, make
sure to subscribe and watch part two. Together we will become better than yesterday.

8 thoughts on “Communication Techniques – How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes (animated book summary) – Part 1

  1. Nice one. I'll try the delayed smile and wearing something unusual. The rest techniques I already use and they help a lot. I've read a quote that your power lies in the people we interact with so we must maximize our communication skills. BTW I really love your intro. It looks amazing!

  2. This was one of the first books I read when I started reading back in 2009. She has a book on relationships and falling in love too. I really enjoyed this refresher video. Great content as always!

  3. Great video. Love the flooding smile technique, didn't care too much for the sticky eyes technique. Reminds me of someone who stares and it makes me very uncomfortable. Overall, great video

  4. Haha, thanks for the help. I'm really gonna use some of your tips. My favorite where the one that "if you have trouble looking someone in their eyes, look at their eyebrowns

  5. I appreciate your work, and believe in the lessons from this video, but why is it that it seems that the people I do interact with always talk over me, or when I am talking, other people interrupt! Then when I try to be more aggressive with engaging with people, I feel that they didn't like my move, and I then draw the conclusion that they don't want my company..
    I am an introvert, and I try to consciously interact with people, but I feel that nobody else plays by the rules, and I just revert back to being a loner, and even become misanthropic..
    I literally have zero friends and I really wish I could find like-minded people I can share ideas with, and interact with. Is there any hope for me??

  6. Excellent video.

    "Whatzit" seems like a great conversation starter. Thanks so much for sharing that particular tip!

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