Author Tara Westover on The Pain of Being Estranged from Her Mormon Parents | SuperSoul Sunday | OWN



When you look back on
every thing that happens, what kept you going and not
succumbing to all the pressure? I don't remember
ever thinking of not keeping going being an
option until I became estranged from my parents. I think that was the
first time I confronted them about my brother. My mother believed me, and I
had this incredibly healing conversation with her on chat,
actually, where she said to me, you know, really hard,
but important things where she was really
being hard on herself for not having put a stop to it. And I said to her, oh, you know,
it's not your fault, basically. And she said to me,
no, I'm the parent. I should have looked after you. That's my job. And until she said that– it was a strange thing– I never had any idea how
much I needed to hear her say that until she said it. And then I realized there
was this kind of weird thing that happened when she
admitted to me that she hadn't really been the mother to
me that she wished she'd been. There was a lot of healing
for me that happened. It was almost like she became
that mother for the first time because I realized what she
wanted to be a better mother. She wanted to look after me. The thing with my
mother though is there's kind of two versions of her. There's what I think
of as my mother, and then there's what I
think of as my father's wife. And they're not the same person. They're not even
remotely related. And so when my father
decided not to believe me, my mother followed, and
we became estranged. And I think that was the
first time I just thought, I've been working
really hard, I've been trying to get an
education, I'm getting a PhD. Here I am at
Cambridge or Harvard– I think I was at
Harvard– and why? Like none of this
means anything to me. The thing I want, I can't have. Because what I
wanted was my family, and I wanted a healthy family.

5 thoughts on “Author Tara Westover on The Pain of Being Estranged from Her Mormon Parents | SuperSoul Sunday | OWN

  1. Oprah's wig is exagerated big. Why are black women using these stupid looking humongous wigs that you can see are so fake. I mean, if you have to wear a wig, use one that is subtle.

  2. this "story" was way too long for me. couldn't listen to the whole thing that told me nothing only what i could get if …….

  3. Sick, abusive, and neglectful parents. Why would they protect their crazy psychopathic insane son, knowing that their daughter was physically assaulted by her brother. I can assure you that this was not the only time he assaulted his sister, but he has physically assaulted his parents and others. This is true, because his craziness spills over to other people as well. He is nuts! Her parents are off their rocker for choosing to deny their daughter's story and taking up for their son. They should have kicked him out of their home immediately. Her parents are worse than their son for taking up for him. What a betrayal to their daughter, especially the mother. People who are physically violent do not stop. I know their daughter had suffered injuries from his assaults and that she showed them to her parents. But they chose to live in denial and not accept what happened. Talk about a dysfunctional family. What's worse is her parents are enabling and coddling him, and since so they are giving him permission to become violent with others. What is worst is they preferred their son over their daughter. How crazy is that. So happy she eliminated contact with her family. This situation will never improve, but it would only get worse.

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