Author Jackie Phamotse, talks about surviving rape, death threats, her book 'Bare' & more

makes this voluminous sjakie the author of pay she gave us a face book was called shattered dreams this was I experimental but truthful you know but that happened and gave birth to this us Jackie thank you so much for joining us thank you for having me okay good thing no guys beautiful thank you happy belated birthday G yes do you – thank you we actually shared I could put them on yes yeah we're like two weeks apart did have fun that had the best of time turning 50 so yeah I did a lot of things yeah yeah what do you do I went I was launching my booking pour chips then I did that and then we went skinny-dipping yeah and we did dinner yeah and we watched movies on the beach okay that's brilliant yeah are you are you happy that you have come this far and what I have done to get where I am right now and it's quite fulfilling to see that hard work does pay off yeah yeah and then the the the turning 30 doesn't put you under pressure because people there's expectation from themselves that once I'm 30 I need to have done know the thing is I have sort of scaled what I need to do over the next five years you know I've got more fire yeah I've got the books that are coming out I'm doing my law degree so I'm not really pressure to do anything I have I have paced myself very well and I'm comfortable where am I the age is just age yeah but I just feel like it's a sense of maturity that comes with it and I think I've come to a place where I'm comfortable with myself so anything that's outside doesn't doesn't worry me or faze me I I just don't care anymore and that's absolutely freedom yeah happiness once you've accepted who you are and what you can provide stability and live your life you know once now you try and compete beyond what you can achieve but let's talk about your book yes some might say very controversial always said that I was like this diary of the things that had happened and you gave birth to this I think also it is an achievement in terms of any book that is finished you know what I mean that's what it is because writing on his own is so daunting and I write for a lot of personal experiences and I derive my information from my other sources so it takes a lot out of me as a writer I need to get into that deep connection yeah with what I'm saying so just to finish the product and self publish it and have it in the bookshelves and have it online and become for it to become a national bestseller and top a lot of international authors of African authors seasoned authors it's amazing I mean if you look at your book at one point and then there's Wilbur Smith stunned about it that way because somebody said I just saw your book on top of zigzag ass book so you were number two years number six yeah it's beautiful you know in such an honor to be even in the top ten with those people hmm so what does that mean about something about national bestseller what has what have you achieved okay I'm self-published that's an achievement on its own and to be a national bestseller you have to have sold a couple of books and said I think it's four thousand and I actually got two platinum because I've so ten thousand thank you thank you so that's what it means in terms of sales but I'm gunning for a hundred thousand because of the universities that I'm doing yeah yeah you're coming down way thank you and I can testify to that from you yeah you have known me for close to nine years absolutely nice and you came here with your blue jacket and let it be cold I don't hear words I know as well yes yes and then you went to the boys camp as well been following you now let's get to the nitty gritties of this book before that coming up with the book but almost exposes what has been setup will be uncomfortable to some people and therefore writing it must be informed by bravery conviction to help someone somewhere and not get into that what were some of the anxieties that you had knowing of the information or forget language Allah and the things and the people that it might expose yeah well I've been known to be very controversial my writing and in the things that I exposed yeah and speaking about my rape that happened in 2007 and in speaking about the hockey club got me to a lot of trouble yes a lot of travel but I was prepaid because I had I had planned to speak about it for a very long time and I was not scared of the outcome because I had sort of placed systems in place when things go wrong this is gonna happen mm-hm and to start off with the rape that happened in 2007 I was raped by a deputy minister but after reshuffling you know things change it's got a better position anyway now with his friends in briefing team and I kept quiet for a very long time and I thought that if I don't speak about it at some point I'm gonna die with the secret hmm and it was not even about the secret it was a about educating people about our rape systems in South Africa and how rape victims are treated mm-hmm you know you go to a police station you report your case they tell you you're fighting a political party you can't report this case you will not win and then you move from one Police Station to Linux to a point where at some point I was interrogated for about four hours by women policewoman and about two other men who told me well you're fighting a losing battle you will not win and as a young girl at the time it's get me off I mean to have police interrogate you for hours and hours telling you that you should drop a case because it's not worth opening they will kill you eventually it set me back for a very long time and till today I am still struggling to understand why they felt that they had to try to kill me for such a long time and in December after the book launch I know that I had in frankenteen I spoke about the issue widely in the media when we had the book launch gym and they felt it's time for for me to be wiped out and I was I was stopped for a long time I was driven out of the road my apartment in Rivonia was shot at my windows were finished I had to be moved to a safe house since December January February and early March I just literally came out like two and a half weeks ago so just in fact I think it was four days before my birthday that's why I decided to go to Durban but I'm ok with it because I'm fighting for cause bigger than I and bigger than you and me you wouldn't you know I'm willing to die for it because a lot of girls are suffering and a lot of men in power and position of power are using that power to manipulate whatever agenda they have when it comes to women whether it's in the work with into relationship with instance and social circles they manipulate girls and use women in all kinds of ways and the girls and women were in these circles are so scared to speak about it and it's not even people in power it's just people empowered home as well you know fathers raping kids grandpa uncles all of these things and the thing is people don't even they're not even aware that women also rate men Oh you know and we turn a blind eye to that as well so those are the type of issues I want to raise to the table and say let's talk about this and find solutions that actually work okay it's almost sounds like unbelievable you know like it's a spy movie or something driven off the road getting shot at so serious but our country is controlled by mafias okay we'll get to that I certainly believe that I believe any country has has to have some sort of clandestine people that run it you know what I mean I mean we've seen it be done traveling stories of our president yeah there are people that are somewhere acting day oh yes what I find said and you know I don't know as a young person at that time I know you cannot undo it was there a point where when there came a time where you were like I'm not gonna go I'm in let's go had you not gone situation we don't about it a lot of time said I shouldn't have gone I shouldn't have done it I shouldn't have been at that place but the thing is you can't predict these things you can't stop yourself from moving around it's your life you need to wake up and go do things never know what's gonna happen regardless of way the environment is you could be at work something could happen absolutely being a text is something what happens but you can't stop yourself from living and how did you overcome the issues of sub confidence ratios of of men in general dating again giving your heart to someone was there a point where because of what had happened other opinions would be to say a woman who hasn't dealt with what has happened then lives that life of you know self defeated life and and and they go on in jail and say maybe I deserve this but it's fine he's actually I mean at what point did you come out and claim who you want as I was writing I went to therapy a lot mmm and because of the type of people I work with people like DJ's extremely encouraging and it's very level-headed so he would help me through things we'll talk about it we would find solutions we would engage with other people who are going through similar things you know we go to schools and speak to young people so in that way it is also therapeutic because I get to share how I feel yeah other people get to share how they feel and find solutions together but I went through a lot of therapy a lot I still go through therapy especially because of what is going on currently as they have to go consistently mm-hmm I go to gym a lot you know Jim has become my friend thick food yeah I got to gym it a lot like this let's make it to meditate and think about my day what's gonna happen what I want to achieve what I aspire what are the challenges that I'm going through and I've cut out a lot of friends I don't do things I don't do social circles I I'm just in my zone yeah my space and I'm very happy very happy but most importantly when it comes to relationships I I date who I know yeah yeah I do too I know so I would have you'd have to be in my life somehow yeah I know your character and I know what I'm getting myself into and it's difficult for me to just date in general but right now I'm with somebody that I really really tried to treasure and he has become my light if I'm a pretty that way um thank you very much for sharing that because there is always something that leads to a situation right on that night I'm showing you with a couple of friends young you naive and there's nothing wrong at least at face value at the time with a little flattery you know what I mean but the the warning then should be one must see beyond that because the next person might not have that same intentions and how should a young woman you know this could be a setup for something so which really now comes into what pays about for me that there has to be something or Elias virginica and sometimes you're on this journey unbeknownst to you yeah this is what your track but you must have a filter and balloon yahoo you just like you said with you around a sec already know now the issue of like you say yeah money money comes easy it's not a new issue new generation but there's always been an issue of a man that has and can buy take favor yes I'm a woman went off three ladies were dancing to you don't want this crumb and Beyonce and Destiny's Child came and said I need a baller someone will pay my bill but that has been the intention then that if I have a man that can provide that's all that I need and this needs to situations like this yeah I mean let's look at a traditional system in South Africa you know where our culture we were groomed for men to to be providers yeah and women were groomed to marry up yeah so they would say if you get married to ours I mean you'll be right yeah they they're from royalty you're okay and it wasn't known back then and our parents were comfortable with it but now society are sort of polished it and made it such a bad thing it's really not a bad thing come on you know it's not a bad thing to aspire to be with a good person or a person who has certain things that you aspire to have or you want to build with that person it's not a problem the problem comes in the trade exchange yeah well now you have an agenda and say you you you say I want a relationship strictly for this there's no love there's no growth in the partnership involved it's just you providing this for me and we'll see what your terms are so if you can give me ten thousand read the easiest thing for women to trade is their bodies sometimes they're not even educated so they can't even say I will I will help you with your business no helper with this it is okay I just have this and you have the money that we treat that yeah so that's where the problem is that's where my discomfort comes in yeah and I say well if you're willing to trade your body and if you should your body have an expiry date when your foot you what are you gonna trade that's my question like Tupac said we take your money and buy your girl your mind yeah to get on to the nitty-gritty and for exactly what does it take it's a week I'll be back now omit we epignosis chica she's an author of national bestseller repairs check we're talking about this trade or women therefore these men mind which is modern-day process usually say yes prostitution and good makeup in lips yeah no no we try and no it's not a but if I entirely give you one rent for this favor it's a trade it's a service but what about my mind my right for that kind of satisfaction so you're talking about adult entertainment now I am recognized when I'm 21 or whatever or when I'm 18 I'm recognized as an adult that can make certain decisions and I have seen that the weakness of men will always be you women and whether the man is good to you or not but if I fulfill a particular weakness from this man and I get to gain from it anti exploiting for my benefit what is it it is but let us be clear in your intention then if you just want to treat for an exchange let it be that don't say you're not doing it or you're not in love or anything like that or it's not prostitution it is but then if you say you're doing it to satisfy a sexual need then that's something you keep because it's like going to a strip joint yeah right you you go in there to go please your I and sometimes you would still killing me by it a lap dance yeah you know those are sexual in adult entertainment however but people have made it to become more of a lifestyle a norm so you can do it at any given time it's okay and I think we have already also become numb to all these sexual connotations on social media and people find it so easy to trade anything because society has sort of lifted to be an open end discussion that it does not matter what you do whether you trade it's for money or it's just for appraisal you know it's okay to do it what if I then say mind your own business can't you mind your you can you can't leave me alone with this man I'm young and I'm hot I'm doing one but then let's look at the risk if I you're young your heart what are the responsibilities are you prepared for the risk if you contract AIDS are you prepared for that if you have babies prematurely yeah you could are you okay with that what if you get human trafficking you know what if they kidnap you are you are you prepared for that will you be willing to go through all of that no you know what do you get what if you get enslaved you know these situations where girls sleep it's men and then after they're to these sexual cults that I've done upon them or sexual trade cults that I've done upon them and they're not really for that they just thinking we're having a good time but men could have an agenda that if I sleep with a virgin and take their blood and do this and do that I'll be more powerful and the girl just comes in because she just thinks she's having fat but she does not understand what sexual cult she's been lured into so we must also look at the risk when we start exercising that kind of behavior so you wouldn't talk without having experienced yeah that's why I wrote the first ball yeah which is the extinction of this one so I I dated somebody who had money those which was like six seven years ago and no I just I just met him it was not even a case where I wanted him or anything like that it was me meeting a boy and then I just liked him and then like two months later I found out he's actually loaded it so would you call that trade no it's you dating somebody as my name but did the next level of your dating after finding out that he is loaded did that not influence your stay it is because it made me more comfortable you know otherwise if for instance it's just like I don't have to pay for such a thing yeah then I get to save my own money because he's willing to do it so it made me stay longer because I understood if I was here and I don't have to do ten other things I could just do one job I'm here with it then he can cover everything else so it made my reasoning for staying better hmm not for the mere fact that I loved him yeah it was just okay fine what can I get because he's getting this from me so let it be that way he wants to provide this then I'm gonna accept it but you tell me because if you're in a relationship with someone young old moneyed or not and the person says baby go to get the cotillion here's a kid's old nice is that chair trade in a relationship it's a gift it's a relationship you are with this person and knowingly of what they have and what they not if they were mysteriously to have a million rand four months down the line into the relationship and they say baby i think we should change the last another but stop eating Nando's let's go have a meal in an actual restaurant that's not a trade that's a relationship you know the standard has sort of scaled you know you could be a security guard and then you study for two years and you become a doctor your lifestyle would automatically change that's another change in a relationship that just grew so at what point then do you realize that this is wrong for you of that what was wrong was the mental abuse that was wrong yeah that's when I started seeing the shift the obsession the demand of certain sexual things yes the restriction of movement I couldn't go anywhere the things that he wanted to implant in public that we shouldn't have done in public you know like having orgies in public just why then did you do it if you didn't do it for for the comfort that you got you know you know you're in a relationship with someone right and the relationship grows and you start feeling comfortable that someone and at some point because of their power which is the money that they have they start ostracizing you from your friends and family and all of that so you end up depending on them whether it's for friendship communication money or anything like that they start putting you in a cubicle where you are solely dependent on them in that way it's a controlling relationship right you need then you start seeing the change of behavior that this person doesn't want me to socialize anymore this person doesn't want me to do this they don't want me to do that and at that time you're so vulnerable because you become scared yeah automatically because you have seen this business power and when you're dating someone you get to see their weakness as well and the way that they do business yeah so they were always threatened they business associates making sure that you also know because if you do something they will do one two three so you become fearful of your life in a relationship that's where I started seeing the change and that's where you decided to go there you go but you can imagine other girls we have no second option or other girls have not invested in their intellect yeah I was lucky enough that at that time I was still studying marketing and at some point I graduated up to communications Unisa so I there were things that I could fall back on and I had one or two businesses on the side for myself I was modeling and had a business and at that time I was also growing another company was smooth so I had things going on it was not like it was just me sitting in a relationship you know that's why when I live it was easy to pick myself up and say okay let me continue yeah they'll continue school continue with work continue writing could do other things so I just didn't fall and go back home and it's like end of story my my life is over yeah cuz it's it's it's um it's very difficult when the sole purpose of you being with a man who has money and a man can have money woman kimimaro but if the money is used then becomes the core foundation that's a problem because then you have situations where kills Bashar lava is stranded by Shia bombings in you wear that makeup and then you'll post on Instagram where you show us the apartment but you know this man you have Shire a nuke shot because Rita is property because I'm giving you everything cause men are like that if I'm giving you this you know me and if I decide now between while this is happening I can look at that and don't tell me just tell me what questions are you gonna ask you know gonna ask me anything but in momentum asana and I'm shy indeed that they find so fascinating about men used to be materialistic because they were given well like you say good Nina you a crude man where exactly have a group a society and family to be the provided noble as that is but use that now as the power broker now but what is it it's like over the last 10 years you guys have really which is an irony because you don't see the deterioration right whether it's men or you yeah but if we're talking about women and women in in in sacrament women doing this and warning them women have deteriorated in value and self value and self-worth that it's okay for them to trade themselves for anything they okay with it they would even give you a reasons why they will do it they didn't give you reasons why it is better for them to treat themselves they will tell you I've been looking for a job for two three years so I'm just gonna sell myself to ban ban ban ban I'm gonna make with this past I'm gonna sleep with that one so easy and because society has made it okay that people can say they gonna sleep with five people and it becomes a conversation where we all laughing nobody is reprimanding anybody nobody's saying actually you can't do that that's not morally correct you know it's they catch so marry a woman is feasible oh my god hey about that loophole accumulate victim yeah they make it okay and because we our families are so broken we have no sense of going back and reporting to a father and a mother so if 16 18 19 year old can date a 50 year old and the parent is not involved in the growth of the child at that age where they need to move from being a teenager to a mature person and they could learn into a society that does not protect them firstly with human rights or the Constitution on its own doesn't protect young girls and then you go to police stations where you just told you can't report this case and then you have an incident where a child needs to move from a teenager too much maturity and the parent is not involved in that process yes and it's easy for them to get lost you know so our society and family structures are so broken that we cannot even have a point of reference anymore yeah and a mana be aware now : Obama's ban Barney hey let's eat 5,000 which is a hundred percent than we ending the month yeah and you know we don't wanna upset that my gosh I listened we said that way did you do something to upset him you looked at other guys you were on your phone and you got irritated who needs of jail I wouldn't have a cell phone in my guitar in an hour and we are going to spoon out the offense yes and you know what even the mother perpetuates this behavior you get mothers were like hey purchase Banu Musa use your charm tanam you know what you got it from go use your charm and then the mother is okay with the behavior ultimatum can I rely on Fuji's oh Tambo over over Marija corner boy uses a variety you know I want that position s120 so you may know what you Kulemin of hasta si to me anyway right oh please Usain you know I'm like what you're the mother you're the mother yeah but now I see what the is and peps and I mean my dreams I never achieved to clean I didn't talk to all my course you know Linda PES saw I killed my dreams for this guy look at me now clearly look she in the Sun rises and sets you know it wish you are young come on you know there was this comment there was a video circulating on Facebook where this girl is talking about how oh my Mikey um Taylor would you say Lindsay am damn I'm England a party you know second venom get off that couch there's so many Vince I do something I'm a doctor clearly yes you know and I'm asking myself this man is saying this to a 16 yo this is a 16 year old and you're telling the child I'm at that will you know what kind of sad news I'm stealing in this child and then you've got social media who that also puts this life as a glamorous what do you need it go get it let's go get that so that you can slay but then when things go wrong what did these children rancher they run to the papers and now you tell on the game right now because your option your cash cow is gone because almond to expose with a politician or with a famous person yeah that's why I show you I share what you're saying with the parents so onand are booty you are not getting an allowance a fifteen thousand no more eat or do you know what I mean you don't care that you're your mom your dad your uncle I want my 10 loans and opening in Cana mansions inside minimize your Thomas of time that is so embarrassing that is yes that is just so oh I love a moral code is just going such as the world believe but look at you though with this book teaching people which it's some place sharing about your life it's not easy to talk about and reenact the event that happened to you but in order to help even one girl out there yeah thank you for it before you go I want to ask about the hockey club just internalizing movies their life they might not be done by this particular years but somewhere it happens and so the hockey club is sort of a social club for which elite people yeah it's people where you go to your shop and you stand outside and you ask what's going on they say no smell any shoku bad bad yes type of people yeah and what they do is they how's it Branston yeah it's a very big mansion where they have created a social circle amongst themselves and a monster rappers and amongst ministers or people in politics that locals in so for instance somebody from that circle was a millionaire of note would say Nimrod I've known you for 10 15 years I've got a birthday or whatever that's coming can you solicit eight five girls for me mm-hmm high high class girls girls who are not scared to experiment will pay them this much in most cases that would even say can we outsource a celebrity we want somebody's gonna give us a good ego boost so we need in your vests yes and you would go to Casper and say Casper okay this is not Kevin so you would just say Casper mister so-and-so from Libya or from South Africa some way he would like to book you for two days in exchange for he wants you to dance for him or usual things entertainment and you want to suit a company into something but he wants to offer you three hundred thousand in cash and Casper would negotiate and say no no I mean I don't want that kind of money in my car because it will you know I'm a celebrity to old person whatever can I have it in the form of a car okay and then a cowl be delivered hmm and then they would have these sexual transitions trades others will say other girls will say I want a holiday I don't want cash I want a handbag can you give me an apartment instead you saw hashtag maliciousness tech to buy you all know these days and then you see these girls a girl is 25 but they own a private jet that costs 40 million you know they do flying from where to where and you ask yourself how does that happen it's the transitions that happen in the hockey club that okay this is what you will do for this rich person and they will fly you and your friends maybe to do in July or whatever with a private jet or they will take you on a holiday but most of the time it's what unprotected sex there's drugs involved there's lots of money involved there's lots of traveling involved sure first native sis Jackie thank you oh there thank you for coming to the show appreciate it looking good thank you very much we can find it exclusive books Compubox in victoria has not pissed our exclusive books copy books ena on my website check if i'm on site or call and amazon how much it's two hundred Rand Tony trying to save your life in and spending the trouble of trauma for years just in my lingo alright Wow so I've got a copy so you go get a copy as well yeah it takes one to teach one the village is raised and she comes back to the village and help the village to think even better and how he treats its children like Odetta said you judge the nation and how it treats its young so we like to think was check if I'm also the author of pair which is our national bestseller for coming to the show and you hope that we've been somehow you can sit and say Amanda but we told me when it happens we told you all right stay with us

11 thoughts on “Author Jackie Phamotse, talks about surviving rape, death threats, her book 'Bare' & more

  1. I've just finished reading the book. Amazing. I loved reading all the way. I heard critics from people who haven't even finished if at all, reading the book. Life is about telling a story to inspire, create awareness and inform. Well done Jackie to me this book is 5 star…!

  2. 17.25 he suggests that men's weakness are women. That is a stereotypical and I dare say, false statement that perpetuates men's belief in making demands on women.
    But interesting interview. I respect Jackie, she appears very intelligent. They also discuss that women have "deteriorated". I think society on the whole including men has deteriorated.

    Subtitles please when not using English.

  3. Ive read the book. Loved it. Opened my eyes to a lot of things that had chosen to stay out. Thank you Jackie and God bless your soul, your heart. I would have loved to have had a copy though and not pdf… but I got the message nonetheless

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