Author Dr. Marc Brackett talks about new book


♪ IT WAS A GORGEOUS TRIP. RESEARCH SHOWS THAT THE ABILITY OF OUR CHILDREN SEEMS TO BE DECLINING AND THAT THEY ARE STRUGGLING EMOTIONALLY. FOR MORE THEN 25 DOCTORS — YEARS, THIS DOCTOR HAS BEEN DEDICATED TO THIS TOPIC. HE IS A PROFESSOR AT THE YALE CHILD STUDY CENTER AND AUTHOR OF A BOOK. THANK YOU FOR JOINING US. THIS IS A BIG TOPIC. I HEAR OVER AND OVER AGAIN THAT WE HAVE AN ANXIOUS POPULATION OF KIDS. ANXIETY IS OFF THE CHARTS. AS YOUNG AS PRESCHOOL TO OUR COLLEGE STUDENTS TO OUR MANAGERS AND CEOS OF COMPANIES, — WHY IS THAT? OUR KIDS ARE LIVING IN A COMPLICATED TIME. SOCIAL MEDIA — OUR HIGHSCHOOLER’S ARE SENDING SIX HOURS PER DAY ON THESE TOOLS. LIVING IN THIS ALTERNATE WORLD DOES NOT NECESSARILY MAKE YOU THE HEALTHIEST. WHAT CAN PARENTS DO TO TRY TO CURB SOME OF THIS ANXIETY? THE FIRST RING IS THAT PARENTS HAVE TO BE THE ROLE MODELS. AS A PARENT, YOU HAVE TO REGULATE YOUR EMOTIONS EFFECTIVELY. TAKE A DEEP BREATH. USE POSITIVE SELF TALK INSTEAD OF NEGATIVE SELF TALK. IT’S BACK-TO-SCHOOL TIME. KIDS CAN BE OVERLY EMOTIONAL. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO HANDLE THIS TIME OF YEAR? IS IT TALKING WITH THEM? SCHEDULES? THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS THAT CAN BE DONE. AS PARENTS, WE HAD TO LET THEM KNOW THAT OUR KIDS KNOW THAT THERE GOING TO BE SAFE AND SECURE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. OFTENTIMES SCHOOLS ARE ALL ABOUT RULES. WE SAY THERE ARE TOO MANY ROLES AND NOT ENOUGH FEELINGS. LET’S ASK KIDS, HOW DO YOU WANT TO FEEL AS A STUDENT IN THIS CLASSROOM? THEN CREATE A LEARNING ENVIRONMENT SO KIDS CAN FEEL AS THEY WANT TO FEEL. SAFE, VALUED, SUPPORTED, ETC. YOUR GOAL AS YOU HOW YOU FEEL. HE TOOK A REAL INTEREST IN IT BECAUSE PEOPLE CAN SAY THAT BUT THEY DON’T REALLY LISTEN TO THE RESPONSE. I WAS A KID WHO HATED SCHOOL. IT’S WEIRD BUT I’M A PROFESSOR NOW. I WAS AN ANXIOUS AND BULLIED KID. PEOPLE DIDN’T ASK ME HOW I FELT. I WAS VERY BLESSED AND LIFE THAT I HAD AN UNCLE WHO WAS A TEACHER. HE LISTENED TO ME. THEY DIDN’T SAY WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT? INSTEAD HE SAID WHAT CAN I DO TO SUPPORT YOU? THAT’S PROBABLY THE FIRST KEY TO HELP OUR KIDS. LET THEM KNOW THEY ARE NOT ALONE. I HEARD THAT YOU SHOULD TALK LESS AND LISTEN MORE. DIG INTO THE BOOK A LITTLE BIT. WHAT WILL HE FIND? ONE OF MY GOALS IS TO HELP CREATE MORE EMOTION SCIENTISTS. ADULTS AND KIDS WHO ARE OPEN TO FEELINGS, CURIOUS ABOUT FEELINGS INSTEAD OF JUDGING THEM. I AM TEACHING THE SKILLS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. RECOGNIZING OTHERS’EMOTIONS, UNDERSTANDING OUR FEELINGS, KNOWING HOW TO LABEL THEM WITH THE BEST WORDS. ALSO LEARNING HOW TO EXPRESS THEM WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE AT THE RIGHT TIME. THEN LEARNING HOW TO REGULATE EMOTIONS. I WORKED WITH A PSYCHOLOGIST FOR A DIFFERENT STORY WHO WANTS KIDS TO BUILD A GREAT AND RESILIENCE INTO THEIR TEENS. KIDS ARE DROPPING OUT OF SCHOOL MORE NOWADAYS. DO YOU HOPE THERE IS A PLACE WHERE FEELINGS AND GREAT AND RESILIENCE MEET IN THOSE TEEN YEARS? THERE CAN BE AND I THINK THAT MAKES CHARACTER AND EMPATHY. YOU ARE SAYING A LOT THERE. [LAUGHTER] GREEK IS AN IMPORTANT TRAIT. IT HELPS US BE PERSEVERANCE TO ACHIEVE OUR GOALS. ON YOUR JOURNEY TO ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS, YOU ARE GOING TO GET FRUSTRATED AND OVERWHELMED AND ANXIOUS. UNLESS YOU HAVE THE STRATEGIES TO ACHIEVE — DEAL WITH THOSE FEELINGS, OFTENTIMES YOUR DREAMS DON’T COME TRUE. WE ARE JUST HITTING THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG. WHERE CAN WE SEE YOUR BOOK? IT’S ON MY WEBSITE. IT’S CALLED PERMISSION TO FEEL.

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