-Chris, it’s always great
to have you on the show. -Thanks for having me.
-One of my favorite guests. You got to see
Lin-Manuel backstage? -I haven’t yet.
-Oh, really? -But I’m planning on
pitching him a few musicals. [ Light laughter ]
-Oh, he — -Yes.
-He’d probably love that. -I’m sure it never happens.
-Yeah. Can you give me one?
-Yes. Okay. Okay, the first one is called “Hoarders: A Musical
About Letting Go.” [ Laughter ] -All right, I like that.
I’m in, I’m in. -And the songs are, number one,
“Objects Don’t Have Souls.” [ Light laughter ] Number two, “Whose Cat is This?” [ Laughter ] And number three,
“Where’s My Husband?” [ Laughter, cheers, applause ] -Yeah, and I hope at the end of
the second act, they find him. -Yeah, they find him!
Yeah, absolutely. It’s great.
-Every time I have you on, I kind of coerce a story
out of you about a supernatural experience. -Oh, yes.
-We talked about aliens. -Uh-huh, yes.
Covered that, yes. -Yeah, we’ve covered that.
We’ve talked about… -Pet psychics.
-Pet psychic was the last time. -Yeah.
-It was very — Do you have any more
supernatural experiences that have gone wrong
for you that we could discuss? -I wish the answer was no.
Yeah. [ Laughter ] But, yeah, these things
keep happening to me. I don’t know why. But, yes.
I recently got into a fight with my mother, and she
passed away three years ago. -Oh.
-Yeah, it gets better. It gets better.
[ Light laughter ] So, anyway, one of my best
friends, her name is Shar. She is a psychic.
-Okay. -And so, whenever we
get lunch together, we’ll be gossiping
or talking about politics, and suddenly, she’ll kind of
go into a trance, and one of my dead relatives
will come through and give me a message. And this one time,
she kind of did her thing and said, “Oh, your mother
has a message for you.” And I was like,
“Oh, what is it?” And she said,
“When you’re directing the ‘Land of Stories’ movie,
which, knock on wood, happens soon when the Disney/Fox
merger settles down. -Yes.
-“When you’re directing the ‘Land of Stories’ movie,
and the monitors go on and off, on and off,
that’s your mom saying hello.” And I said,
“Can she pick a different sign? ‘Cause I’m gonna
need those to work.” [ Laughter ]
Anyways, so we proceeded — We then got into a big argument,
my Mom and I. She, like, worked really hard
on that sign, and she’s really upset. You know, so, like,
it’s never enough for me. [ Laughter ] And then the waiter came over,
and he was like, “Oh, is everything okay?” And I was like, “Oh, I’m just
arguing with my mom.” And he was like, “Oh, I didn’t
realize this is your mom.” I was like,
“Oh, no, she’s dead.” [ Laughter ] Anyways, so we haven’t been back
to that restaurant in a while. -Yeah, no,
you can’t go back to that. All right, good. This, “The Tale of Magic,”
this is, I want to say — Is it your 15th book?
-15th, yeah. -That’s unbelievable, dude.
I think it’s amazing. [ Cheers and applause ]
-Thank you. -Amazing job.
-Thank you. -They’re great books.
On the bestseller list. You’re making it into a movie. Are you now more recognized
as Chris Colfer the author or Chris Colfer the actor? -It really just depends
on where I’m at. Like, if I’m near a high school,
it’s definitely, I’m the guy from “Glee,” but if it’s
an elementary school, then I’m definitely the author
of “The Land of Stories.” But I’m actually —
I’m having a hard time — I wish I could brag about it
a little bit, because people,
especially in Los Angeles, the city that never reads…
[ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] Oh, no. I’m gonna hear about that one.
-Yeah. -They always kind of assume that
if you’ve been on TV before, and you’re not any more,
that you’re either dead or you’re going through
a really hard time. And I remember this one time,
I was at a party, and this lady, she was famous. I’m not gonna say who it was. But she came up to me,
and she’s like, “Oh!
What are you up to now?” And I was like,
“Oh, I’m an author.” And she goes,
“Oh. Well, that’s okay.” [ Laughter ] And I was like, “No, no,
they’re really popular.” And she’s like,
“I bet they are.” [ Laughter ] And I was like,
“No, they’re an international best-selling series.” And she’s like,
“That’s right, honey, chins up.” [ Laughter ] So, yeah. -And really, you’re like,
“No, actually I’m happy.” -I’m happy.
-These are doing really well. They’re making them into movies.
-“I’m doing good! I’m doing good!”
[ Laughter ] -15 books.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. [ Laughs ] -This one here, you said,
is the toughest to write. -It was, it was.
-“A Tale of Magic.” Why is this one tough? -This book, it was so different
from anything else I’ve ever written,
because literally everything is an allegory about something
I’ve experienced or something that really
frustrates me. And two of the main themes
are prejudice and depression. And there’s just something about
breaking those two things down into a language that a child
would understand that you just —
you see how pointless it is. And it would just
infuriate me so much, I’d have to get up from my desk
a few times and walk away. -And you just
came from a book signing. I know they packed the place. Do your fans ever ask
for some weird things, like, “Hey, can you take
a weird photo?” or sign something odd or… -Well, nothing has ever — As of now,
nothing has ever beaten this one time when a woman
plopped her baby down on the table
and asked me to sign it. [ Laughter ] -Sign the baby?
-Sign the baby. Yeah, yeah.
And this baby gave me this look like…
[ Laughter ] Like, he looked back at his mom,
and looked at me and was like, “I’ve got a long road
ahead of me, don’t I?” [ Laughter ] -Yeah.
[ Applause ] You don’t sign your babies.
-Don’t sign babies. -No, I want to read,
if you don’t mind, the dedication
that you put in this book. ‘Cause I really loved it. It said,
“To all the brave people who dared to be themselves during a time
that didn’t accept them. Thanks to you, I get to be me.”
-Yeah. I thought that was really cool.
-Thank you. Yeah, thank you.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Why did you choose
that dedication for this book? -You know, I’m so fortunate, because I live in this country
in this century, where if I had been born
somewhere else, even now, if I’d
been born somewhere else, I could be tossed off a roof or stoned to death
simply for existing. But because I live here
and I live now, I get to be
an award-winning actor, I get to be an international
best-selling author, and I have
a lot of those privileges because of thousands
and thousands of very, very brave men
and women who came before me and sacrificed a lot. Not for them but so someone
like me could do that one day. So, yeah, this book is for them.
-That’s really cool. [ Cheers and applause ]
Chris Colfer, everybody.